The first trailer for Annie is here, and since it stars Quvenzhané Wallis in the lead role, releasing it is essentially the same thing as blowing a trumpet to summon the racism from the bowels of Twitter. BRING US YOUR IGNORANT, YOUR ENTITLED, YOUR HUDDLED (BITCHING) MASSES.
And they have answered the call, flooding forth from their scrabby old dens to remind us that “UM ANNIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WHITE” and other similar gems. I’m sure Quvenzhané is fine and all, and I’m totally not racist, but etcetera etcetera etcetera. Basically a bunch of white people on the internet are feeling threatened, and it’s ridiculous.
And ridiculous in the sense of — if we’re really so concerned about staying true to the classic movie, then why isn’t anyone making noise about Cameron Diaz? Sure, she’s white, but historically, the role of Miss Hannigan has been played by someone talented, and in this case it looks like they’ve really gone in the opposite direction. I’m all for giving people a shot, but it only took about thirty seconds of her wooden, half-assed performance in the trailer for me to realize that the fact she was cast in this role is more disturbing than that scene in The Counselor where she inexplicably rubs her bare vagina down the windshield of a car.
But yeah guys, by all means — remind me why it’s so unacceptable that Annie is being played by a non-white (Oscar-nominated!!!!) actor. Have at ye, twits.
The New Annie is black… I’m not racist, but Annie is known for her red hair…. — Cortney May Dove (@cortneycochrane) March 6, 2014
This is a Twitter user who appears to have deleted her profile between the time that I embedded her tweets and published the post. Probably because she was getting so much negative feedback.
Okay assholes. Im not racist! In fact I have black family members! Im simply stating that the remake is not the norm. Shove it. — Cortney May Dove (@cortneycochrane) March 6, 2014
She has a fun update on ‘I can’t be racist because I have black friends’. (In voiceover)L This time, it’s personal.
I don’t like this remake of Annie. There can’t be a black Annie. — Taylor Hartwell (@tayylorhartwell) March 6, 2014
Great points, Taylor, but can you present more evidence?
Yes you’re right. That human being looks nothing like a cartoon. Let’s scrap the whole thing.
YOU HAVE DEFEATED ANNIE.
Just seen new Annie trailer. Don’t mean to sound racist as it does look amazing. But WHY THE FUCK IS ANNIE BLACK?! Should be ginger & white — Evie (@eveyyy3) March 6, 2014
Don’t get me wrong, it looks amazing, but I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.
And yet…she absolutely does have an afro. A curly red one, but you’re immediately incorrect.
Ryan describes a life redolent with a familiar oppression.
There can’t be a black Annie, but every Native American, Arab, Persian, and Asian character should be played by white people. Got it.
— Sarah (@buonasahra) March 6, 2014
Annie comes out December 19th, so you have plenty of time to get the fuck ahold of yourselves before then.