If I ever won an Oscar… actually, scratch that. When I win an Oscar (for sound mixing, obvs), I can’t really be sure how I’d choose to celebrate. There’d probably be a lot of nacho cheese involved, and probably some Reese’s peanut butter cups, but beyond that I don’t really know. That’s up to my hero ten-years-from-now me to decide. But it looks newly minted Oscar winner like Matthew McConaughey has a very clear idea of how he wants to celebrate — by having a baby.
According to The Sun, Matthew told his wife Camila Alves after winning Best Actor that he wanted to expand the family, reportedly saying the following about his post-Oscars plans:
“We won’t stay at the after-party long – I want to go home and make another baby!”
Maybe a little more info than we needed, but I’ll give him a pass since he and Camila are so adorable and attractive it makes my eyes hurt. It’s not clear whether Camila replied to this offer with “Alright, alright, alright!” or “Oh hell no!” or “Let’s allow the dust to settle on this award you just won before we make these kinds of major life decisions, okay?” I guess if nine months from now Camila is giving birth, we’ll know the answer. If they name the baby Oscar, we’ll really know. If she gives birth to a literal Oscar statue, we’ll super know. We’ll also be really terrified because that’s not how pregnancy works.
Or maybe the person giving birth will actually be nine-months-from-now McConaughey, who coincidentally is the hero of ten-years-from-now McConaughey — it’s very complex. After losing all that weight earned him his first Oscar, the ultimate acting challenge would be to get pregnant, perhaps to play a male seahorse in an inspiring new drama. It would be so inspiring that they’d probably give the baby its own tiny Oscar upon being born. Or maybe they’ll just have a baby the normal, boring way and nobody will win any Oscars. Whatever.
(Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images)