• Mon, Mar 3 - 3:16 pm ET

It’s Time To Play Where In The World Are Jennifer Lawrence’s Underpants, Oscars Edition

Jennifer Lawrence no underwear dress Vanity Fair Oscar Party March 2014

Hollywood is a strange and ever-changing landscape, as is the fashion industry. It used to be that going commando on the red carpet was a special secret celebrities didn’t want you to know about until they inevitably exited a car with their legs apart and we all found out. Nowadays it’s no secret, because the sheer panel has come into style, and the side butt reigns supreme. The latest side butt shower-offer? Jennifer Lawrence, who last night changed out of her red Dior Oscar gown into this Tom Ford number for the Vanity Fair after party. Notice the underwear situation. Namely that there isn’t any.

I’ve looked at the above photo for longer than is probably legal in the United States, but I can’t help it. Sheer dresses fascinate me. It’s like those clear plastic tote bags people carry around sometimes. I don’t really need to know that you’re carrying around fifteen tampons and a shrunken head. Just like I don’t really need to know that Jennifer Lawrence isn’t wearing any underwear. I haven’t discovered this little piece of trivia through any scandalous methods. I don’t have X-ray eyes. It’s very clear from the see-through side that there is nothing under there.

I know that fashion is brimming with all sorts of handy contraptions that give the illusion of things, so I guess she could have some kind of futuristic sideless robot panties on under there, but the suggestion is that there’s nothing going on. You can call me a prude. You can even call me a prune. But ever since Gwyneth Paltrow shaved away her ’70s vibe and debuted that side butt last year, I’ve been having trouble getting used to the idea that not wearing undies is not only totally normal, but a literal aspect of the design of a dress. “Here’s our latest couture design. It’s made of silk charmeuse and comes complete with proof of underwearlessness. Exquisite, isn’t it?”

(Photo: FayesVision/WENN.com)

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  • guest

    Trying not to be indiscreet, but I don’t understand how the commando thing works. in addition to warmth, panties are to absorb things…if you’re not wearing any, then…um…

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Oh believe me, I’ve wondered the same thing.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Tampon with the string cut off like strippers do?

    • guest

      What are you saying? That’s a thing?!?!?! So much I do not know…

    • Tinyfaeri

      Well you can’t just take a few days to a week off once a month, and Depo just doesn’t work for everyone. Gal’s gotta pay the bills, you know?

      Someone else mentioned that a lot of the time the dresses have a built in panty, though, which makes a lot more sense, and would involve a lot less fishing around.

  • MangoAngel

    Most dresses like this have the panties built-in. Total pain in the figurative ass when going to the bathroom, but great for side-butt photo ops…minus the chance of paparazzi upskirt shots!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yeah I’d imagine it’s like trying to go to the bathroom in a one-piece swimsuit.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Oooooooo, that would be genius.

  • Kay_Sue

    I imagine…and I have put more thought into this than I probably should have…that you could maybe use some kind of contraption like the adhesive bras that appear to be backless, strapless, and sideless (Is that a word??)…would be a pain in the arse to go to the bathroom, but it would allow for ample side-butt shots.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yeah I think those do exist. Fashion has a crazy solution for everything.

    • A.

      I just found fashioncstring.com without adhesives, which fits the above bill and butts too. (And no, I am not on their payroll!)

    • Kay_Sue

      Without adhesives is a good thing. I love my Victoria’s Secret adhesive bra…but pulling it off is sometimes a bit like pulling off a band aid, and I can’t imagine that on my nether sections…

  • Erica

    I would really like it if “feminist” websites would start acting like the feminists they claim to be. Why is it news that a woman might forgo her knickers to pull off a gown with a sheer panel? Why is a purportedly sex positive, non-slut shaming, feminist website obsessing over the covered or uncovered state of so many women’s labia? (Not to mention the abundance of blatant slut shaming that is apparently A-okay for certain celebrity women) If she’s prepared to waddle like a penguin, avoid taking the stairs, and sitting down all night, what makes that news-worthy? Unless, of course, the implication is that women need to police other women for being *too* sexually explicit by sounding the snark alarm over a dress that’s *too* revealing. I understand the natural urge to cut down perceived threats from sexual competitors (even on TV), but let’s call it that and check it. Like most people, I too have a list of women – from real life and on TV- who I instinctually sneer at because they have a reputation as the other woman or because my boyfriend thinks they’re hot. But I don’t have the nerve to pretend that it’s because they are in some way deserving of my scowl, I recognize that I just feel (virtually always irrationally) threatened. To illustrate, almost all of us have a friend who explored and experimented without tying herself down in college or maybe slept with someone who wasn’t available. And yet, we give her a pass (if you are secretly judging her she doesn’t qualify, you just don’t have one of these friends). But how is that friend or you and I any different than the actress whose sex tape keeps popping up in your boyfriends browser history?

    • Jill O’Rourke

      I think you read a little (okay a lot) too much into this.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I can promise you that if a guy wore an outfit with transparent panels showing that he wasn’t wearing underwear, we’d write that up too. I can’t speak for Jill, but I’m pretty sure this post has nothing to do with her gender.

      Eureka! Feminism!

    • Tinyfaeri

      I think we should start a campaign to get Michael Ealy to wear pants with sheer panels. Or Jensen Ackles.

    • Tinyfaeri

      I didn’t get the feeling anyone was sneering or snarking. Just stating that maybe we don’t all need to know when someone is not wearing undies, and that it’s time for that fashion trend to end.

  • Tinyfaeri

    I wish I had the balls to wear a sheer dress with strategically placed shiny bits.

    • Piea

      But then what kind of underwear could you wear so that your balls didn’t show!?!?!

    • Tinyfaeri

      Tape, silly.

    • A.

      Or how about a new men’s “C – String” for those two!

  • A.

    Is it very possible, she is wearing a “C-String” panty which could solve most it?

    • Jill O’Rourke

      I didn’t know what that was, but I just looked it up and am slightly terrified.

    • A.

      It would likely be pretty comfortable, as long as you don’t sneeze!