Hollywood is a strange and ever-changing landscape, as is the fashion industry. It used to be that going commando on the red carpet was a special secret celebrities didn’t want you to know about until they inevitably exited a car with their legs apart and we all found out. Nowadays it’s no secret, because the sheer panel has come into style, and the side butt reigns supreme. The latest side butt shower-offer? Jennifer Lawrence, who last night changed out of her red Dior Oscar gown into this Tom Ford number for the Vanity Fair after party. Notice the underwear situation. Namely that there isn’t any.
I’ve looked at the above photo for longer than is probably legal in the United States, but I can’t help it. Sheer dresses fascinate me. It’s like those clear plastic tote bags people carry around sometimes. I don’t really need to know that you’re carrying around fifteen tampons and a shrunken head. Just like I don’t really need to know that Jennifer Lawrence isn’t wearing any underwear. I haven’t discovered this little piece of trivia through any scandalous methods. I don’t have X-ray eyes. It’s very clear from the see-through side that there is nothing under there.
I know that fashion is brimming with all sorts of handy contraptions that give the illusion of things, so I guess she could have some kind of futuristic sideless robot panties on under there, but the suggestion is that there’s nothing going on. You can call me a prude. You can even call me a prune. But ever since Gwyneth Paltrow shaved away her ’70s vibe and debuted that side butt last year, I’ve been having trouble getting used to the idea that not wearing undies is not only totally normal, but a literal aspect of the design of a dress. “Here’s our latest couture design. It’s made of silk charmeuse and comes complete with proof of underwearlessness. Exquisite, isn’t it?”