Do you want to know some seriously glorious news? Of course you do because it has to do with Justin Bieber calling his on-again-off-again-really-I-hate-this-game girlfriend, Selena Gomez, an elegant princess. To be specific, he said that she’s the most elegant princess IN THE WORLD. You see, the dress that she wore to the Vanity Fair Oscars after party and the way that she didn’t slouch even a little in photos had him feeling all woozy in love. So, I’m assuming he’d like to include all of the galaxies and solar systems as well because there’s probably not even one extraterrestrial more elegant than Selena.
Most elegant princess in the world. http://t.co/KGGn1u45Z9
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 3, 2014
I’m not saying that this is a direct diss to actual royalty or to any of the Disney princesses, but I’m not not saying it either. Sure, he’s seen Frozen 14 million times like everyone else, but Anna couldn’t hold a candle to his maybe girlfriend. And Kate Middleton? More like Kate Beneath-ton, as in, you are beneath Selena when it comes to being esteemed and graceful. I’m just saying that it’s time to step your game up, ladies, if you ever want to get a shout-out on Justin Bieber’s Instagram.
But now that Justin has crowned Selena the Supreme of All Things Elegant, we’re tasked with deciphering what this all means. I can kiss goodbye any sleep I was planning to get in the next few weeks because now I have to start gathering scientific data and scribbling neurotic notes on my walls and windows. Are they back together? Are they broken up? Have they just reached some middle ground, where they can still go on casual Segway dates and post very loving photo collages of one another on the internet? Ugh, where is my Jelena Relationship composition research notebook?! There’s got to be something in there that can help me out. Or maybe we can just wait it out for Taylor Swift to hook Selena up with one more member of One Direction to let us know for realsies.