Stop the presses, everyone. Just go ahead and halt the production line and tell everyone to go take the rest of the day off because this is a pop culture emergency. Mary-Kate Olsen just got engaged to her boyfriend, Olivier Sarkozy, and it’s kind of a big deal. I actually hope you’ve been reading all of this as if there is an exclamation mark after each word because that’s how I’m thinking it. Number one, congratulations to the happy couple! Numbers 2 through infinity, ummm???
As you may or may not already know, Olivier is 44, which is just shy of double Mary-Kate’s 27. I know, age isn’t everything and I shouldn’t be so shallow. There’s nothing illegal happening here, so shut up. They’ve been dating for two years, which is one year and eight months longer than most celebrity relationships last. Those are all things that you could totally say to me. But also, it is sort of weird, right? Like, am I way off for feeling skeeved out about the fact that he could be her dad? I don’t know. As long as everyone’s happy and consenting, I suppose.
But the upshot to this is that if she decides being married isn’t her cup of tea, she and Ashley can Parent Trap the hell out this situation. Or, more Olsen-appropriately (but less culturally significantly) pull a Switching Goals. Olivier won’t even be able to tell the difference! Now that we’ve got that wonderful and fool-proof back-up plan all ironed out, I actually feel much better about this. So, in that case, congratulations for real, you two!