By now you’ve probably heard the devastating reports that Katy Perry and John Mayer have broken up. All that public gushing and bull-riding has suddenly been rendered meaningless. Given their track record for breaking up and reuniting and breaking up and reuniting, I expect them to be spotted together approximately three hours from now. But in the meantime, it appears Katy is really embracing her new position as a strong, independent woman. Her single status has even given her the power to deliver babies in living rooms. Most women would just flaunt some revenge cleavage or get a cathartic haircut (perhaps in front of a crowd) to show how over their ex they are. But Katy Perry is like so much cooler than that. When she breaks up with someone, she assists in the birthing of a child. Tomato, tomato.
I supposed a little context would be helpful. Last night Katy tweeted that she’d helped deliver someone’s baby in a living room. No word on if it was just an at-home delivery or if they couldn’t make it to the hospital or who the mommy is, but Katy was apparently there to participate.
People are speculating that the mommy is probably her older sister Angela, which would make sense considering the “Auntie Katy” comment, although I wouldn’t put it past Katy Perry to call herself Auntie to the baby of pretty much anyone she’s had the slightest interaction with. If she helped to deliver a stranger’s baby on a subway, I’d expect her to call herself its Auntie. In fact, if she merely watched a rerun of A Baby Story on a lazy afternoon, I bet she’d track down the family featured and introduce herself as Auntie Katy. I don’t know, it’s just a vibe I get.
Congratulations to whoever had a baby yesterday! And congratulations to Katy Perry for replacing John Mayer with a little niece or nephew. I would imagine as soon as the child was born Katy sang, “Baby, you’re a fiiiiirework!”
(Photo: Lia Toby/WENN.com)