Quick! Tell me what Kaley Cuoco’s husband Ryan Sweeting does for a living! If your answer is “be Kaley Cuoco’s husband,” I don’t blame you, but you’re wrong. The answer is tennis player. But it appears he’s simply not getting enough attention for that — or for being Kaley Cuoco’s husband, even though it’s all they talk about. What he really wants us to remember him for is sharing before-and-after photos of that time he pooped out a steak dinner. I can only imagine he’s spent his whole life thinking TMI stands for something like “That’s mucho interesting” or “Tim made ice (tea).” It doesn’t stand for those things, Ryan. It stands for TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
Ryan posted the above photo to Instagram earlier this week, captioning it, “Man dinner was goooood!!! Dessert time now!! #steakmakemehappy.” Okay, that’s cool. I wasn’t exactly dying to see you shirtless and sticking your belly out in such a painful-looking manner, but I’ll accept it. Carry on. Wait no, don’t carry on! What’s this next photo? Why are you doing this? Why is this captioned “10 mins after a quick bathroom trip #everybodypoops”? Why oh why oh why?
Notice that the Snapple bottle on the nightstand is full in the first one and empty in the second one. A lot of effort went into making us think Ryan had actually just pooped out the contents of his belly. This means it’s official. Nobody enjoys oversharing more than Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting. But posting kissy wedding photos is one thing. Implying you just took a poop so impressive that your belly deflated is another thing. Granted, he didn’t show us what the poop looked like, which I guess we should give him credit for. Although now I’m knocking on fifteen types of wood out of fear that putting that concept out into the universe will make it happen. Have mercy on me, universe.