A very happy 35th boobsday… er, I mean birthday… to Jennifer Love Hewitt. You must forgive me for making that teeny tiny (or rather, great big — I’m sorry) mistake, since Jennifer Love Hewitt and boobs are kind of synonymous. She herself is eager to gush about them in interviews, and she even joked once that they were worth $5 million dollars. Unfortunately nobody hears her say those things because they’re all staring open-mouthed at her chest. Those breasticles are always upstaging her.
In honor of her birthday and her impressive rack, let’s look back over Jennifer Love Hewitt’s career and remember all the time her boobs totally stole the show from her. This doesn’t even include all the magazine covers and red carpet appearances. At this point, when I can’t see her cleavage, I’m frightened.
1. The Client List Lifetime Movie
This film, in which Jennifer plays a housewife-turned-call-girl, was the quintessential showcase for her boobies. By the time you finish the movie you won’t remember what her face looks like.
2. The Client List TV Series
Jennifer’s prostitute boobs were so huge and iconic Lifetime couldn’t contain them in a single TV movie, so they gave her a whole show. That show is canceled now, but perverts will be catching up on it for years to come. (Pun absolutely intended.)
3. The Client List Commercial
I promise we’ll move past The Client List soon, but it was just the perfect showcase for Jennifer’s assets… and apparently also her singing voice, according to this video.
4. I Know What You Did Last Summer
’90s thriller = boobs. In this case, those boobs belonged to J.Love. This compilation gives you every boobular situation you could ask for, from excitedly bouncing up and down to peeking out over the top of a tank top.
5. The Ghost Whisperer
I never watched this show, but she appears to be at work at the start of this clip, correct? A quick trip to Google informs me that her character owns an antique store. So why, pray tell, is her cleavage so present? I guess it’s best not to question it.
6. Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber
This was a TV movie Jennifer did on Oxygen in which she plays a woman obsessed with being a socialite. Much underwear dancing ensues. And once again, why is she wearing that to work?
Just in case you were worried there wouldn’t be a kid’s movie on this list, here you go.
8. The Truth About Love
This one has boobs and a bonus British accent! What fun!
9. The Tuxedo
If I had a penny for every time Jennifer used her boobs to get what she wants, I’d have enough money to give myself Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs.
I don’t even know what I can say anymore. All these movies are starting to blend together.
11. Party of Five
These boobs have been upstaging her for a very long time, you guys.
12. Can’t Hardly Wait
Oh my God, again with the tank tops? Is that all she owns?
13. Jimmy Kimmel Live
It’s not just J.Love’s characters who like to show off their boobs. She also does it in real life, to the point that Jimmy Kimmel gave her a blown-up photo of her chest as a keepsake. She followed up with him about it the next time she was on the show.
14. The Ellen DeGeneres Show
The look Ellen and Matthew Perry exchange when Jennifer first walks out for this interview is priceless. I want to frame it and put it on my wall.
15. This Billy On The Street Video
Jennifer doesn’t even appear in this video, but I will never forget at the 2:45 mark when Billy asks about her, and the man on the street responds, “Jennifer Love Huge Tits?” I rest my case.