You know that line in comedy that we try not to cross? It’s right between ‘that’s so funny’ and ‘that’s way too close to home’, and if you walk it right, you’re controversial but hilarious and everyone loves it. But if you go over that line for any reason, like Chelsea Handler did in a sketch last night, all of a sudden everyone’s sitting around contemplating the fastest way to set themselves on fire.
At least that’s how I felt watching Khloe Kardashian and her mom Kris Jenner face off on Chelsea’s parody version of daytime TV court shows called Judge Lately. It’s hard to tell because I’ve been watching it through my fingers while cringing, but it seems like Khloe brought her mom on the show with the argument that she isn’t her mom’s favorite daughter. In fact that she’s her mom’s least favorite. As Chelsea says at the beginning of the sketch:
“Khloe it says here that you feel your mother, Kris — spelled with a K — favors the other two sisters more than she favors you.”
Ummmm okay but let’s be careful here guys because that’s EXACTLY WHAT GOES ON. According to things Khloe has said over the years, there are some very real ways in which she feels let down by her mother…and I have a feeling they’re all about to come up on national television.
“I’m still third place. I’m not trying to get to number one — I get Kim. No one can come between [Kris and] her golden goose, but second, y’know? Kourtney‘s like watching paint dry. I don’t really get what I have to do to win a little attention here or there.”
Eep eep eep! I know exactly what you have to do! And you’re doing it right now! And all I want is for it to stop! But Khloe keeps going, saying how she used to have to ride in ‘the trunk’ of their station wagon when they rode around, and that her mom made her get laser hair removal at age thirteen, and that she tries to outdo her on social media, and that she has a stupid voice that sounds like she should be on QVC selling things, and on and on and on:
“All you do is hate on me! You hate on how tall I am, how pale I am, how blonde I am. Then Kim dyes her hair blond and all of a sudden it’s the most amazing thing in the world.”
I have to assume that people thought this would be funny — especially Kris, who seems a little caught off guard by the strength of Khloe’s reaction — but I could have told you from the beginning that it was gonna be a disaster. You don’t just show up with your least favorite daughter and think you can joke about it on Chelsea Lately because you know why? Khloe. Don’t. Play.
Just promise you’ll never make me watch that again.