You might want to invest in some garters, because Justin Bieber simply cannot stop charming the world’s socks off. You probably thought he couldn’t get any more charming, what with all the peeing and the egg-throwing and the peeing and the arrests and the peeing and the strip club visits and the peeing. Did I mention the peeing? I forget. But just so we’re clear, there’s been peeing.
On top of all that, according to the latest report from Life & Style, he might have also given his ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez the beautiful gift of an STD. No, not a super terrific dandelion or a sleeping terrier dog or a surprisingly tall dwarf. I’m talking about a sexually transmitted disease. After he cheated on her, of course. What do you think he is, some kind of monster who stays faithful to his girlfriend?
“Selena has had issues with anxiety for a while,” an insider allegedly said. “And she’s still dealing with them. It started when Justin was cheating on her — one big breaking point was that she thought he gave her an STD and got tested.”
Of course, there’s no word on what delightful disease it could have been or whether the test was positive or negative. I guess it was simply Justin’s way of saying thank you after Selena allegedly gave him her virginity. Just a nice little STD scare to show his appreciation and undying love. There’s nothing like opening up those test results to find out what’s inside. Do you think he wrapped up the envelope and put a bow on it and had her open it in a crowded restaurant? Ooh ooh wait, I bet he hid it in the dessert. What’s that look you’re giving me? Is that not an acceptable gift to give your girlfriend? Next you’ll claim penis pictures are out of the question too.
It’s too bad these two couldn’t work it out. Apparently the customary gift for their next anniversary would have been a pregnancy scare.