If Taylor Swift Really Gave Her V-Card To Jake Gyllenhaal, What’s Framed Above John Mayer’s Bed?

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It’s no secret that Taylor Swift takes getting her daily dose of attention more seriously than anyone, even those of us who take our vitamins in the chewy, fruity form. I’m surprised she doesn’t have her own reality show so she could broadcast even more of the mundane things she does that she thinks are worth watching, like getting a non-exciting hair cut in front of a crowd of people. Then she wouldn’t have to post it to Instagram, it’d be on everyone’s DVR! But I must admit, the latest Taylor-centric news piqued even my interest. Taylor’s virginity, which was long ago concluded to have disappeared in John Mayer’s den of depravity, was actually taken by Jake Gyllenhaal.

This news is surprising for a number of reasons. Firstly, Taylor dated infamous womanizer John Mayer and didn’t bend to his seductive powers of fedoras and douchebaggery? Stronger women than Taylor have caved to that before! Secondly, Taylor lost her v-card to someone – a celebrity, no less – and didn’t write a song about it?!

Taylor is notorious of expressing her feelings in her songs. Usually this means poignant stabs at ex-boyfriends who somehow or another wronged her. John and Jake are no exception. We analyzed “Red” after it came out and they were both heavily featured in the you-broke-my-heart theme of the album. Jake has been attributed as the subject of “The Moment I Knew,” which Radar Online explains tells the tale of Jake bailing on Taylor’s 21st birthday party. Taylor is not one for subtlety. Listen to “The Moment I Knew,” it’s not difficult to make the connection between Jake and Taylor’s birthday. What Radar Online is also claiming is that shortly before the momentous birthday disaster, the couple began sleeping together.

My immediate reaction is one of skepticism. If she really didn’t sleep with John Mayer, what’s with all her angst towards him? And if she really did sleep with Jake, why isn’t there a song called “I Lost My Virginity And Now I Can’t Find Myself,” filled with a chorus of “last night you said it’d be okay, but where are you today?” or something? As I said, Taylor’s not one for subtlety, but “The Moment I Knew” makes no explicit references to sex. Also, as attention-obsessed as Taylor is, how did she keep this under wraps for so long? If it’s true, and she was as devastated by it that the source claims she is, I’m sorry for her. Then again, it’s hard to feel sorry for someone who turns every heartache she suffers into a popular song. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a song on her next album about thinking “Red” won Album of the Year at the Grammys. Until Jake or Taylor come forward personally about the alleged exchange of the v-card, I’m just going to continue assuming Taylor’s virginity is in its rightful place, framed in a place of honor above John Mayer’s bed.

(Photo: FayesVision/WENN.com)

You can reach this post's author, Meredith Hirt, on twitter.
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    • Mary

      I think All Too Well is about that. There’s this line “But you keep my old scarf from that very first week ’cause it reminds you of INNOCENCE and it smells like me”, that made me connect it to that. :) And since that song’s about Jake… :)

      • Guest

        I don’t think it has anything to do with sex. She’s always said in all her songs about her being innocent, hence, her song “Innocent.” It’s just the way you interpreted it. And it could mean either one from how you see it. I don’t believe any word in this article. I don’t believe any of the media. They build you up, just to tear you down in Taylor’s own words! And didn’t you say in your last article, “I’m never talking bad about taylor, I’m always taking up for her. Read the beginning of this article where I have her a compliment.” You can’t be on the fence about her. You either like her or don’t. And apparently you don’t. Because Taylor is not an attention hog. She got her haircut with her friends. Posted it to HER fans. Can’t help it others who aren’t fans see it. It’s not meant for people who don’t like her. And that’s a crime, to hear the letter R and think “did I just win a Grammy?” I would’ve fell for it too and got excited. I’m sure Taylor Swift is NOT the only one. I’m sure she’s soo different from everyone else and is the only one who would have that reaction. It’s a huge compliment after all your hard work. I would want to win it too if I was there. But it’s a crime and makes headlines! I’ve seen many celebrities react the same way and were wrong. You just don’t remember because nobody else ever made headlines for it :)

      • Meredith Hirt

        This article and the one about Taylor’s hair cut are actually written by two different people, so that comparison doesn’t really count. But I understand your points.

      • Meredith Hirt

        Good observation, it’s surprising no one came to this conclusion sooner.

      • Michel92

        You have to be kidding. Everyone knew the song was about Jake. This is not big news, gang.

      • Meredith Hirt

        But had you concluded the v-card part?

    • AJ

      I agree, I think it’s common knowledge (or at least assumption) that John Mayer got there first. Some people are reacting to the Radar Online story as if it were gospel truth, but I don’t believe Radar Online was ever known for being completely reliable.

      And if they are wrong, I’d love to see Taylor’s reaction to the story. She’s probably having a good laugh with Meredith right now. “They think JAKE was my first?? LOL OMG STFU!”

      • Meredith Hirt

        I would like to think more highly of Jake, that he wouldn’t just take her v-card and then ditch her birthday party. That sounds more John Mayer-ish, which we all expect any way.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Oh Jesus, I’m so sick of everyone screaming about this girl and her “revenge” songs against her exes who screwed HER over. Interesting how Alanis Morrissette can put out a song like ‘You Oughta Know’ and it soars to the top of the charts and she’s hailed as a heroine for going down on Dave Coulier in a theater but because Taylor is a virgin she’s to be ridiculed. Pretty sad comment on our culture.

      • Meredith Hirt

        Taylor’s songs do soar to the top of the charts! Her “revenge” songs as you say are quite popular. People’s opinions about the validity of her feelings isn’t impairing her success. But you must know that, as you’re clearly enough of an expert on Taylor to know the status of her virginity…

      • sailermaet

        Hey, I couldn’t be less bothered to comment on this article, but haven’t your parents taught you any manners? Nasty, snarky girl..

      • Jenni

        Clinically speaking, I think you could be less bothered, because, um, well, you commented on this article.

      • Raquel

        How can we be sure her exes screw HER over? All we get is a catchy pop song about being a victim of a broken heart. With the exception of John Mayer, who was actually pretty tactful despite his history of saying rude things about his exes, all the guys have been mum and respectful of their relationships with TS. They could be just as “open” and put this girl on blast. I’d bet she’s super clingy and “in love” within days of meeting the guy. But we don’t know, do we.

      • Meredith Hirt

        I have the same thought, that Taylor falls in love really quickly. Along with the revenge songs there are quite the number that fall into the hopeless romantic category.

      • oc

        Jo Jonas wasn’t, was he?

    • Becky Jerams

      It seems like she did write about a physical relationship on the track “Treacherous” on Red – and according to this article it’s about John Mayer:

      http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-10-22/taylor-swifts-red-who-is-each-treacherous-sad-beautiful-tragic-love-song-about-analysis/

      Oh well, I don’t really care who she’s sleeping with, I just love her music!! Team Taylor!

      • Meredith Hirt

        Right; she’s an adult and she can have consensual relations with whoever she wants. But as long as she’s writing popular songs about those relations, she’s allowing the public to inspect her behaviour, so they will judge.

      • elle

        Yeah, I really don’t understand why Taylor can write songs about her personal life and everybody applauds her, but when people analyze the songs we are invading her privacy and judging her. It honestly makes no sense to me.

      • Meredith Hirt

        Agreed!

      • RFK64

        Except, this isn’t about analysing her songs. It’s about a story based on an anonymous “insider”. In other words it pretends to be factual. No quite the same thing is it?

      • Meredith Hirt

        I never said this was factual. I even explained that my reaction to hearing the information was skepticism.

      • RFK64

        You could, of course, have gone a step further than skepticism, and concluded that it was really none of your, or anybody else’s business. A pity you didn’t.

      • River

        Alas, it is her job. And she does say that she’s skeptic about it. And the John Mayer thing? She’s just echoing the thoughts of millions of people.

        Why can’t people who come here and bash these writers realize that the way they write is the way they SUPPOSE to write? It is not a reflection of who they are in general. It’s like saying that writers from Cracked.com are obsessed with dicks just because they constantly write dick jokes. It comes with the territory, a.k.a they have to keep up with the theme because it’s what their job entails. *sigh*

        tl;dr I hate smug, self-righteous people like you.

      • Chee cheong

        Yeah…Taylor’s fans need to relax a little.

        Not all articles about Taylor are negative…

        Here is just one perfect example
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2564421/Im-love-Taylor-Swift-Jeremy-Vine-reveals-music-honest.html

        In fact, the public in general love and respect her.

      • Chee cheong

        Yeah…Taylor’s fans need to relax a little.

        Not all articles about Taylor are negative…

        Here is just one perfect example
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2564421/Im-love-Taylor-Swift-Jeremy-Vine-reveals-music-honest.html

        In fact, the public in general love and respect her.

      • GwenB

        When taylor said that anybody did not respect her privacy. She is a celeb she don’t care about those comments or people who analyse her songs. What do you think other artists write about?

    • Michel92

      Yoo-Hoo, Meredith Hirt? Do you know why you’ll never go any further with your alleged writing career than this unhappy little website?? Or do you hopefully have a day job….

      You see, Meredith, honey, boo-boo–Taylor Swift has nothing to do with the endless number of stories written about her on the Internet by incompetent, bitter and untalented gossip writers. You should know. She is a hot topic on trashy gossip sites, but Not by choice. As if she wanted the crazy Jake story to be reported?

      See, It is people like YOU, Meredith hon, who seem obsessed with writing your daily dose of Swift gossip. Why would she want writers like you writing snotty stories about her everyday? Why would she seek that? Let’s use some common sense, Meredith.

      You mention an Instagram. Don’t celebs make instagrams for fans and friends? Which means that snotty writers don’t have to look at them, right? So why do you look??? Just another way to be snotty, I guess. At your suggestion, I looked at the haircut thing. It was funny. The funny thing is that Taylor Swift isn’t in the Instagram, either.

      Meredith–did you know that Meredith is the name of Taylor Swift’s cat? I read that a long time ago….Meredith.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Say Meredith again.

      • Izzy Lapras

        Hahaha I love your comments!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Thanks Izzy!

      • Meredith Hirt

        I appreciate seeing my name in print so many times. I’ll keep your comments in mind when I go to my day job tomorrow. As a writer. Because regardless of where we’re publishing, that’s our job. Thanks for helping us with traffic.

      • Raquel

        I’d rather be a writer on an unhappy little website than a troll who obviously visits said site, reads the articles and then post dumb comments about why the writer is sad.

        If I choose to write popular songs about my love life I’m basically asking to be dissected, right? Which is exactly why I don’t write songs about exes or even put up vague FB statuses about them.

      • Meredith Hirt

        Ha! Thank you Raquel. Perfect comment.

      • River

        Yoo-Hoo, Michel92? Do you know what this writer does besides writing for this site? Do you know her personally to surmise that she’ll never amount to anything? I don’t, so I can’t judge her nor throw such scary predictions/condescending insults. I mean, it’s not like she’s one of those celebrities who has, oh I don’t know, NO sense of privacy in their personal lives that they let their diary be converted into catchy songs to be distributed globally. Right?

        Oh, and I don’t think the writers are necessarily “obsessed”. Okay, maybe a little, but it’s mainly because Taylor has a lot of fodder to give. She’s like a big, fat worm on a fishing hook: you’ll have to be a stupid gossip columnist to not be hooked. And seeing as this is their job – although I can never know if it’s their only job because I don’t know her personally like you seem to, then they have to do their job. Because it is a job. That pays.

        And is this article even insulting? Nah, just a differing opinion that YOU could’ve criticized in a civilized manner because you don’t know this woman in the first place to judge her as a person. I mean, did this writer wrote songs that exploited her past experiences with her looonnggg strings of boyfriends to realize that she’s one of those annoying exes who has a penchant for airing your dirty laundry? Was this writer interviewed in magazines that made possible for anyone to get a gist of who she is? Have you see this writer in TV that you were able to observe her quirks?

        And did I mention that this is a job? That they have to do? And not a hobby? Just checking…

        And yeah, seeing as this is a site where their theme seems to “offend” a lot of people, don’t the internet have other, “kinder” celebrity sites for you to pore over? So why read here in the first place?Just another way to post a comment to be self-righteous while also being insulting, I guess.

        See, it’s people like YOU, Michel92 hon, who I wouldn’t want to talk to because you’re a condescending, self-righteous asshole attacking someone who is paid to do what she does. Why would they stop writing humorous, mostly satirical articles when they get paid to do it? Let’s use some common sense, Michel92.

        At your OWN suggestion, why not preach what you teach? They never called Taylor as “incompetent, bitter and untalented”, so why do you throw those words to them? I mean, how much do you know these writers to classify them as incompetent? And bitter? I see no bitterness, just humor and sarcasm. Untalented? How do you know that they can’t sing, dance, or rap?

        Michel92–were you born in 1992? And is your name really Michel? If it was, is that deliberate or is that a typo in you birth certificate? You ought to mind your manners… Michel92

    • Michel92

      Meredith. News flash. I noticed a comment you made to someone’s earlier post. That person quoted a couple of lines from All Too Well..about the scarf of hers that Jake keeps, it reminds him of INNOCENCE and it smells like me…? The line is very obvious. And you express surprise that no one else “got it”? Have you seriously listened to Red? Or do you just criticize?

      • elle

        LOL at Taylor swift being a very private person. Just LOL. Not that I think it’s anybody’s business who Taylor lost her virginity to, at all. But Taylor Swift is the opposite of private.

      • Meredith Hirt

        Exactly!

    • Shannon

      Personally I’m a fan of Taylor and don’t understand all the haterade everyone’s been drinking up, but “All Too Well” is what really hints at that: “after plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own” basically screams it…
      However, quite a few of her earlier songs suggest that she lost it before she even got famous.
      But either way, it’s really not anyone’s business.

      • Meredith Hirt

        The only reason why I think it is anyone’s business is because she is putting it out there to be dissected by the public, just like we’re doing right now. Just like I published this piece to be commented on, she sings her songs and knows they’ll get feedback.

      • RFK64

        That’s a cop out and you know it. The fact that her life serves as inspiration for her writing does not mean that she doesn’t have some right
        to privacy, like any other human being. She hasn’t said anything, written anything about the subject of this article, so I fail to see why it is fair game.
        Except, that to you, everything is fair game isn’t it? To you, Taylor Swift is not a human being, she is a celebrity, and as such does not qualify for a minimum of decency. Actually, you are a human being too. Why can’t you act like one?

      • Meredith Hirt

        I wasn’t aware I wasn’t acting like a human being. I kind of thought human beings were the only beings with the skills to use the Internet like this. Am I wrong? What else could I possibly be? If I’m a polar bear and no one told me, I’m going to be pretty upset.

      • RFK64

        If you were a polar bear I’m pretty sure you would be in a zoo. They are an endangered species after all.
        For the sake af argument, could you address my point about the right to privacy?

      • Meredith Hirt

        As a non-human I don’t know how to do that.

      • RFK64

        No, I guess you don’t. I’m a little disappointed, I had such high hopes. Ah well…

      • River

        To be fair, you’re not really asking questions that can be answered. They’re all rhetorical. And if she does answer, it’ll be a long, drawn-out, and pointless argument. Meredith is being smart by not getting baited. In the end, she won’t listen to you and your aggression because this is ultimately a job (plus you’re being a dick). A job. It’s not even a hobby, for christ’s sake. Why are you attacking who she is?

        She gets paid, and you (like all others who tried) get to rage. Do you get paid by aggressively defending Taylor Swift? So are you a better person by basically insinuating how inhumane the writer is when she’s just doing job? It’s not like her brand of humor is a rare gem; EVERYONE on this site is basically the same. Ergo, this is their theme.

        And Taylor did brought the scrutiny to herself. Yes, public figures should have a semblance of privacy, but when said celebrity is not even TRYING to be a private person in the first place, it can’t be help. The writers are just working with what she is supplying.

    • anne

      So sick of everyone bashing on Ms. Swift. Why does she get hated for writing about her feelings when every single other songwriter in the world does she same thing. Those songs that are tell all’s and release all of her emotions and feelings, those songs help millions of girls because they know exactly what Taylor is going through..

      • Meredith Hirt

        Taylor Swift is by no means the only artist who gets hated on for writing about her feelings. Many other singer/songwriters get the same flak. Taylor’s just front and center, in large part because of her own choices. She’s not trying to hide.

    • Izzy Lapras

      Just because someone is proud of what they do and the way they do it doesn’t mean you go around shaming them…have you ever thought that her songs may be therapy to millions people out there? And even if you sit of your high horse claiming superiority over their juvenile tastes, not liking or appreciating her music just miiiiight mean you don’t get it? I actually feel you girls, as (sensible) feminists should support another woman who has the guts to openly shame and unflinchingly write about her love life despite the fact that shes beaten down for the exact same reason and not apologizing for it, and because it’s upto feminists to defend unfair judgements against a woman, even if they fairly have a few points that makes them not like her fully. Also, Taylor Swift fans should like, chill down. She doesn’t care, obviously, cause she obviously doesn’t care enough to even read these articles.

    • manda22

      Don’t hate because you can’t turn a broken heart into a million dollars :-) Complain about her writing about her feelings if you please, but the only thing a break up has ever gotten me is a bucket of ice cream and ten extra pounds on the scale. Meanwhile Taylor Swift gets a broken heart and earns enough to buy a new mansion in seconds. The girl found what worked and ran with it, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    • Bones McCoy

      Well, if she did give her v-card to John Mayer, she probably had a decent first time, if this is any indication of his skill level… http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/01/12-things-about-the-time-i-had-sex-with-john-mayer/

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    • Anguisha

      Maybe John Mayer broke up with Taylor Swift because he didn’t want to do her :P

    • Swiftie For Life!

      ONE WORD: ADELE. ALL HER FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT THE SAME ‘FAILED ‘RELATIONSHIPS’ AS TAYLOR SWIFT. ADELE RELEASES ’21′ AND EVERY FUCKING SONG IS THE SAME THEME AS THE SONGS IN ‘RED’ YET SHE GETS NO SHIT FOR IT. IM SICK OF THESE STUPID ARTICLES SAYING SHIT ABOUT THE QUEEN #LONGLIVESWIFT