You’re gonna have to help me out here, Miley Cyrus. I’ve been holding out hope for you ever since you gave that smart advice to Justin Bieber about not being a total idiot. But now you’ve started your Bangerz tour and you’re making me look really bad. I know you can’t stop, but maybe make a little more of an effort? Maybe start by not putting strangers’ thongs in your mouth, mmkay? Does that work with your schedule?
That’s right, everybody. Just when you thought Miley Cyrus had crossed every shocking thing off her shocking to-do list, she pulls out the old underwear-in-the-mouth trick. During a concert in Tacoma on Sunday, a fan threw a thong on the stage. So obviously Miley picked it up and put it in her mouth. Hollywood Life, ever the gossip poets, describe Miley “wrapping the thong around her microphone and wrapping her lips around it.” There’s so much wrapping going on, it must have looked like Christmas Eve up on that stage. If Christmas Eve caused me to become reacquainted with yesterday’s dinner.
There’s a blurry fan-snapped picture going around the Internet of the incident in question, and I’m not really sure what’s going on, but it looks like the type of thing that would earn an immediate “TV-MA SSSSSS” rating if it were broadcast on television.
Perhaps the fan who threw the thong had never worn it and bought it at the mall before the show as a nice gift. Maybe when Miley put it in her mouth, he or she was very confused as to why she would treat such a thoughtful present with such disrespect. Then again, I wouldn’t even put it past Miley to set this whole thing up to look more shocking than it was. It wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out to be a plant who threw it on the stage. Pay no attention to the thong-thrower behind the curtain! Then again (again), Miley’s gone so far to freak us out that it very well could have been a used thong. Either way, we’re talking about it now. Touche for the thousandth time, Miley Cyrus.