I don’t know how this happened, but somehow I forgot to be aware of the fact thatÂ Kanye West is going to have aÂ wedding. (I guess technically it’s Kim Kardashian‘s wedding too, since she was present at the proposal, but I’d be surprised if Kanye has even remembered to invite her yet.) After all, as Kanye so frequently reminds us, HE IS A GOD, and this wedding is gonna have to reflect that.
I mean Kim’s great and all, but she can’t really be trusted to plan a wedding, obvs. How are you gonna leave an event of that magnitude to a girl who can’t even get herself on the cover of Vogue, y’know? Much better to just leave it all to Kanye, who apparently already hasÂ a lotÂ of ideas about how this thing’s gonna go down. Even if that means we don’t quite have time to get to any of that boring stuff with the lady in the white dress.
According to a friend (my money’s on Kris Jenner)Â who spoke to Britain’s Heat Magazine, Kanye’s turned into quite the ‘groomzilla’, a word I will be appropriating and using every time I refer to him for the rest of my life:
“Itâs just insane.Â Kanye has basically billed it as âŚ breaking the boundaries of what to expect when it comes to a wedding.”
I’m gonna stop you right there, already, because a wedding that’s being ‘billed’ as anything is already nonsensical. I honestly won’t be that surprised if I see posters for this thing.
“This will beÂ the event of the year.Â Think fashion runway, stage show performance. Think avant garde. Think nothing like youâve ever seen. Kanyeâs saying âThis is a concept eventÂ based on a wedding.’”
I honestly can’t even begin to address that last sentence. Apparently Kanye has invitedÂ Anna Wintour, Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci, and Karl Lagerfeld to ‘witness his work firsthand’. No joke required, that’s a direct quote.
But in his excitement to build the perfect wedding, Kanye might have forgotten one teensy tiny element:
“Heâs sometimes even forgetting to involve Kim in the meetings with the wedding planner. She feels like the whole thing might beÂ spinning out of control.”
Oh yeah. That. I feel like the way things are going, that invitation is just begging to get lost in the mail. Sorry Kim, but Art trumps Wedding every time in the Yeezy Handbook. Every time.