Bradley Cooper Went Commando To The White House, Didn’t Even Show Side Butt

Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse holding hands at White House state dinner February 2014

This man is not wearing underwear.

Last week, when he was sure his girlfriend Suki Waterhouse had finished her homework, Bradley Cooper took her with him to the State Dinner at the White House. He looked very dapper in his fitted tuxedo, but it turns out he was hiding a secret. Luckily Bradley went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show afterwards and got the secret sucked out of him by Ellen’s celebrity confession vacuum. She can get anyone to admit anything. In this case she got Bradley Cooper to admit he wasn’t wearing any undies beneath that tux.

Bradley explained that he’s gaining weight quickly for a new movie, and despite gaining 15 pounds in 4 weeks, he decided to wear the same tux he wore to the Golden Globes to the White House. Big mistake. Big. Huge. Lo and behold when he got dressed he discovered that he couldn’t pull the pants all the way up. He doesn’t describe what he looked like when he was trying to get them on, but I imagine he looked like every woman in a period commercial who tries to button her jeans over her bloated midsection, wriggling around on her bed and then giving up and eating chocolate instead of interacting with society.

In Bradley’s case, though, his solution was just to go commando, because “there was no room at all.” That must have been some pretty substantial underwear that it made such a big difference. Was he wearing an adult diaper or something? Either way, Bradley then demonstrates the awkward way he had to stand up and greet the very important people attending the dinner, saying the pants were “crazy town tight.” It’s the kind of storyline straight out of a romantic comedy. To really complete the homage, he should have just let the pants split in the back, or at least the side. A little side butt never hurt anybody. Just ask Gwyneth Paltrow. Ellen did. Twice.

(Photo: Pool/ Getty Images News)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • J_Doe5686

      Class personified . . . Unlike Paris!