Oh Netflix, you sly devils. You give us these great shows to binge-watch (which is wonderful and totally apropos to the way I live my life) but then we have to wait an eternity to see them again. Every slice of heaven has its price to pay, I suppose. But at least now my yearning feels ever-so-slightly mollified by the fact that Orange is the New Black has a premiere date. Okay, if we’re being technical, it’s not a premiere date so much as it’s a “Here, gluttons, binge and purge at your own will on all of this available episodes” date: June 6th. (!!!!!!)
I know what you’re thinking: “June 6th. June 6th??!! How could I possibly wait another three-and-a-half months to see what happens to my favorite prison gals?” And I’m not even going to get into the psychological impact of what a Laura Prepon‘s eyebrows-less OITNB would do to me (here’s hoping she really is part of “most” of the season). Relax, guys. I know you all feel the same way. Which is why Netflix did us a solid in the form of this teaser trailer:
Wait. What. Is. Happening. But.. but…this tells me nothing! Nothing, I say! Where is Pennsatucky? Why is Taystee dancing? Is Porn Stache back? I need more Red, Sophia, and Crazy Eyes (Suzanne)! This only serves to keep me waiting with bated breath for more OINTB (in case you were wondering, yes I do murmur “oh eye en tee bee” out loud to get it right whilst typing). Touché, Netflix. Until June 6th.