I love nothing more than giving my inner conspiracy theorist something to stay up nights worrying about, and this video montage from Conan O’Brien really hits the spot. It’s another one of his “Newscasters Agree” montages, in which he shows dozens of local news anchors reading the exact same line about a particular topic. If you haven’t watched them before, this is a great one to start with, because it’s for Valentine’s Day, so you’ll get to hear a bunch of newscasters you’ve never seen before say “I love you.” Aww, how sweet/creepy.
This time the line that newscasters are really into saying is, “Those with a special someone may look to their mobile device to help them say I love you.” They all say it, some of them changing the wording here and there or playing around with different inflections like the rebel thespians they are. Of course none of us sitting at home watching our local broadcast realize that across the country someone else is probably listening to their own anchors saying the same thing. This can only mean one thing. The robots have won. No, I don’t mean Daft Punk winning at the Grammys. I mean teleprompters have become self-aware and started controlling what news gets reported.
Oh, what’s that? It could just be that a bunch of local news affiliates are provided with the same generic videos and pre-written scripts as part of their broadcasts? I guess it could be that too. According to this explanation, a lot of local channels use a CNN service called Newsource which provides video content, and to save time the newscasters read from the same script. Some people — probably people with a lot of newspaper clippings pinned to their walls — would argue this still counts as a conspiracy, but at least it’s also absolutely hilarious.