Matt Lauer And Al Roker Luge Together In Sochi, Much Sexual Innuendo Ensues

Matt Lauer Al Roker Sochi Luge Today Show 2014

How sweet that Matt Lauer and Al Roker chose Valentine’s Day to show us footage of them trying the double luge at the Sochi Olympics. They did it together back in 2006 during the Torino games, and it was just so good for both of them that they decided to do it again this year. When you watch them try it out, you’ll delight in two things. One, the scream Al Roker lets out while he’s sliding down the track. Two, all the sexual innuendo contained in their pre-luge conversation. And in the fact that they’re lying on top of each other in spandex suits. It’s like ugh, get a room already.

Last time, when Al was heavier, he was on top, because apparently that helps with aerodynamics. Now that Al’s lost some weight, Matt insisted he be on top. It is so like Matt Lauer to insist on being the top, right? The word “top” is used enough times in this video that I can hear a porn parody being written as we speak. Or at least some raunchy Today Show slash fiction. I’m sure that already exists, but I’m too much of a lady to look it up.

Matt also warns Al that he will be “smothered” by him during the ride, and when they learn that luge partners must be “one” with each other, Al says, “You feel me, I feel you.” Then as Matt crouches down to lie on top of him, Al declares, “Bring that thing down!” and lets out a Santa-like “ho ho ho.” Was this whole thing pre-scripted by fourth graders?

After that they tried a second run, but this time they went all crashy. I guess their love for each other distracted them so much they couldn’t keep it together. Even though they were only going about 30 miles per hour instead of the usual 80, they hit the sides of the track and ended up going backwards, so all the homoeroticism went out the window to be replaced by “AHHH THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS.” But luckily they survived the ordeal and hugged it out at the end. Aww, you crazy kids. Too bad Matt wasn’t wearing his Pamela Anderson costume. Actually, scratch that, it’s for the best he wasn’t.

(Image: Twitter)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • J_Doe5686

      They’d make such a great couple.Their chemistry is amazing!

      • Jill O’Rourke

        A match made in heaven.

    • Seymour “El Gatito” Butz

      luckily, judging by the luge suit, neither one appears to have genitals