Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody! I wish you much gladness today, whether it’s with your significant other, a first date, or a bottle of wine on your couch. I don’t turn up my nose at any celebration on this day of hearts and love and naked cupid butts.
In fact, I think everyone’s a little too closed-minded about what constitutes a good V-Day. Today is a day to let your inhibitions go and do whatever feels good. Don’t second guess yourself, y’know? I’m mostly talking to you, celebrities, because I can’t help but notice you haven’t been following my dating advice recently. You have these wonderful best friends right under your noses, and yet you insist on staying platonic with them and getting romantic with other people that I don’t care about.
But once a year on February 14th, I get to tell celebrities what to do (this is a rule I’ve recently made up), so I’m not letting today go to waste. Here are 12 Celebrity Couples That We All Really Want To Happen. Do us a solid and just give it a shot, guys. Please?
1. Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence
I mean have you watched the Hunger Games press tours? Don’t even try to fight me on this. They already have such great friend chemistry, and Josh has admitted that he got little tinglings when Jenn kissed him in the movie…so maybe they could just try it out? Once? Please?
2. Sandra Bullock and George Clooney
They’ve been friends for twenty years, but never dated or even had any interest in dating, which is actually the best possible reason to try things out now. George needs to date someone just as famous as him who isn’t gonna fall over herself trying to please him, and Sandra could definitely use a distinguished gent who respects her and already has the affection of her son, Louis. IT JUST WORKS.
3. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson
Fans want these One Direction bandmates to get together so badly that they’ve even come up with a name for them – Larry Stylinson. I mean maybe just think about it? It would definitely make Harry less likely to leave the band and pursue a solo career!
4. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling
UGH. Their chemistry in movies like Crazy Stupid Love and Gangster Squad is so good that I forget they’re not already together. And this isn’t even anything against Andrew Garfield or Eva Mendes. It just happens to be my favorite daydream and I really want it to come true.
5. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman
I’ve seen enough of the chemistry between Holmes and Watson on Sherlock to know that these two would work. but even if it can’t play out on the show for plot reasons OR WHATEVER, please give us a tiny taste in real life? Fan fiction everywhere would thank you.
6. Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt
These two met in 2000 and have been friends ever since, even filming (500) Days Of Summer together as the romantic leads, but never dated. Guys come on! Think of all the webcam musical collaborations you could film if you lived together in the same house as husband and wife forever and ever!
7. Amy Poehler and Adam Scott
A coworker of mine ships Adam and Lizzy which is fine too, but I felt like the Parks And Rec reference is a little more topical than Party Down, no matter how wonderful they both are. I get that Adam is married, and I’m not hating on that, it’s just that Leslie and Ben are the only married couple on television who haven’t actively made me want to jump in a well.
8. Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran
After all her (extremely well-documented) guy trouble, maybe Taylor should try things out with a friend instead of a…known womanizer. Right? After all, Ed defends her in the media when pretty much no one else will, so give it a shot, guys!
9. Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon
In the immortal words of my coworker Meg, “Oh, they wish.” Just don’t tell Jessica Biel.
10. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet
Just their film history is enough for me, from Titanic to Revolutionary Road, but then Kate had to go and blow that kiss to Leo from the stage of the 2009 Golden Globes? That’s it. Done. Can’t handle it. Just get together already.
11. Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus
Listen, I get that she’s definitely too good for him at this point, but for a while there, these two were equally out-of-control, and Miley might be the only one who can bring Justin back from Crazytown. Someone has to try, and Selena Gomez obviously isn’t up to it. I feel like Miley could twerk him into shape in no time.
12. Jason Bateman and Will Arnett
UGH I just want to hang out with them all the time. Wander the streets of Manhattan hand in hand, rewatch Arrested Development together, call each other ‘guy’, LAUGH. The opportunities are really endless, and I for sure want in.