I don’t know what kind thing we’ve done for us to deserve to be gifted with this ridiculous news about Harry Styles, Kendall Jenner, and her dad, Bruce, but I’m not complaining. It involves Bruce allegedly getting in Harry’s face about the rumors that he’s been cheating on Kendall with every girl ever. Before I start, go on and set up your sacrifices to the altar of the Gossip Gods (referred to as the Celeb Clergy in some circles) because this is about to take a turn for the fantastic.
According to The National Enquirer’s account of this little chill sesh, Kendall took her fake boyfriend to hang with her dad, as daughters do from time to time. She probably didn’t know that Bruce wasn’t too thrilled with Harry, obviously having previously read on Crushable.com that Harry is cheating on Kendall. If she had known, the part where he confronted Harry about the rumors wouldn’t have pissed her off as much as it reportedly did.
“Bruce got all grim and told Daughter’s Darling he keeps hearing rumors about his cheating ways, and does NOT want his little girl hurt. Harry stood right up to Bruce, telling him ALL the rumors are untrue! When Kendall learned Daddy had put Harry through the wringer, she was so pissed she stopped speaking to him for days!”
This rumor is amazing for many reasons, but I will give you two and send you the rest in scrapbook form via snail mail later. The first is that I’m very pleased to know that Bruce keeps up on his celebrity gossip, with a particular focus on Young Hollywood. How else is he going to know what the kidz are into these days? So hey, Bruce! If history is any indication, you’re probably reading this. And, number two is that Kendall seems to have convinced her own self this is a real relationship, which is super weird. The second most important rule of PR-arranged relationships is that you mustn’t forget that you don’t need to save face when contracts are involved! (The first is that you have to be fake-coy at all times, even when you’re alone.) Maybe Harry can show her the ropes, as he’s been around the fakelationship block a few times.
If only I could’ve been a fly on that wall, I might’ve finally gotten answers to my lifelong questions, like whether Motherbot Kris is actually human and if Kendall and Kylie are actually the same person. Better luck at next week’s scheduled overdramatic Kardashian event, I suppose.
(Photo: Daniel Deme, WENN / Dan Jackman, WENN)