• Thu, Feb 13 - 2:01 pm ET

Elias Phoenix Returns To Ellen, Still Has The Dazzling Personality Of Fourteen Humans

Elias Phoenix on The Ellen Show January 2014 GIFI guess there’s no way around the fact that I’ll never be a piano prodigy, you guys. I can whisper my hopes and dreams to myself in the mirror all I want, but I’ll never get another shot at being under ten and extremely talented.

Never again will I have the opportunity to be plucked from obscurity by Ellen DeGeneres to come sit across from her on her show in all my round-faced, cheeky glory, like Elias Phoenix was. Elias is a seven-year old who Ellen met about a month ago when he came on her show the first time, with his twin brother Zion. He’s insane on the piano, which is all well and good, but the real thing you’re gonna notice in this second time around is his charm.

The way he is with Ellen is the way I always dream I will be with celebrities. Like literally dream it. In my sleep I imagine that I’m so charming that famous people will be automatically disarmed by me, and wake up expecting an invitation to Lake Como in my mailbox from George Clooney. I can wish as much as I want, but I’m not that person — Elias is. And Ellen is just so tickled by him. I couldn’t be more jealous.

See that?? That could have been me! If only my parents had made me more adorable / given me piano talents more than being able to plunk out ‘Heart & Soul’, I could be on Ellen right now. UGH.

(Image: thellenshow)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    Elias is exactly what I imagine a marshmallow would be like if it were to ever come to life.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      He reminds me of a cross between Olive from ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and Josh Gad’s snowman in Frozen.

    • Olivia Wilson

      I’m shocked at myself for not having seen Frozen yet, but that Olive comparison is so spot on.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha thank you. Couldn’t get it out of my head.

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