Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling need to get it together, you guys. And not just because they’re the two most beautiful people on Earth and we deserve to see what their offspring would look like — also because if I keep speculating about their relationship, it’s gonna break my brain.
There have been rumors for months that these two are on a break (supposedly because Ryan wanted kids, like, yesterday, and Eva is more interested in focusing on her career at the moment), but every time we think we get a read on the situation, one or the other of their reps comes out and is like, “No no no, nothing to see here, they’re still together.” So WTF. Are you together or aren’t you? I understand wanting your privacy, but I think we’d all like to know when we can get back to our rich fantasy lives without mentally infringing on a real life relationship.
But just when I was settling myself in to wait out the long winter and to spend a Valentine’s Day without my dream boyfriend Ryan Gosling, Eva went on The Ellen Show and revealed some verrrrrry interesting information about her own V-Day plans. And when I say they’re ‘interesting’, what I really mean is they’re insane and this couple is officially trolling me. Here’s how the exchange went down.
Ellen: What’s going on for Valentine’s Day with you? Any plans? Are you a romantic person? Do you care about that?
Eva: I’m not. Ya I guess so, but I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person. I’ll probably just order a deep dish and watch The Notebook or something.
Ellen: Just cry.
Eva: Just weep.
Sorry, WHAT. You had me at deep dish, because those are two of the most sensual words in the English language, but you’re gonna watch The Notebook? I barely even registered how weird that is when you first said it, but then I realized NO. You don’t get to say that like it’s a normal thing! Other average people get to open a couple bottles of wine and watch that movie when they’re getting through a breakup, but NOT YOU EVA MENDES.
That is not an average moping around movie when you watch it! That movie stars your (ex? current? WHO KNOWS) boyfriend kissing his ex-girlfriend, Rachel McAdams. And kissing her KIND OF A LOT. Like all over her face and parts. WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE DOING.
Brain. Broken. Help.
(Photo: Andres Otero / WENN.com)