• Mon, Feb 10 - 11:47 am ET

Beyonce Is Rumored To Be Having An Affair With President Obama, Which Means We’ve Officially Heard Everything

Beyonce President Obama Inauguration January 2013

In news that will make you go, “Whaaat? Huh? That’s… she’s… he’s… when… eh?” Beyonce is rumored to be having an affair with President Barack Obama. That sound you just heard? That’s the sound of rumors officially dying as an art form. If you asked me before this what the rumor to end all rumors would be, I’d probably say, “Oh I don’t know, Beyonce having an affair with President Obama or something.” Thanks to a French photographer, we now have that rumor to keep us warm at night.

Photographer Pascal Rostain claims that the story will be published in the Washington Post tomorrow:

“You know, at this time, the United States, there is something big that is happening… Besides, it’ll go out tomorrow in the Washington Post, we can not say that it is the gutter press [reporting on an] alleged affair between President Barack Obama and Beyoncé. I can assure you that the world will talk about it.”

At this time everyone’s taking the news with the world’s largest grain of salt, once they’ve properly oiled their jaws to make them close. It’s simply too wild a rumor to take seriously, even if Beyonce has spent a lot of time around the Obamas, lip-syncing performing at the president’s inauguration last year and then again at Michelle Obama’s recent birthday party. It’s also suspicious because French President François Hollande has been facing his own cheating rumors these days.

And of course a Post spokesperson has already said that it’s “definitely not true” that they’re running the story. We should really all breathe a sigh of relief, because if it did turn out to be true, I’m fairly certain the world would just immediately end. That’s not an exaggeration. We’ve already established that Beyonce is God, and if God’s affair with the leader of the free world got out, she would no doubt just smite us all. It would turn out that the Mayans were just off by a year or so, and 2014 marks the actual end of days.

(Photo: Rob Carr/Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • CMJ
    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Haaaaa. Excellent choice.

  • Kathy

    Well, he is an attractive man (sort of). I think President Obama flirts up a lot of women but it doesn’t mean anything. He’d better be careful because the First Lady has a mean right hook.

  • Pingback: Anonymous

  • Pingback: Rumeur Obama/Beyoncé: «C’est faux», déclare le «Washington Post» - Direct.cd

  • Jenni

    Is this just the viral marketing for Scandal? Getting people all jazzed about a presidential affair?

  • Adi

    A part of me sort of wishes it were true just because it would be so absurd is that bad.

  • Pingback: VIDEO. Rumeur Obama/Beyoncé: «C’est faux», déclare le «Washington Post» | sicobois.net

  • Pingback: VIDEO. Rumeur Obama/Beyoncé: «C’est faux», déclare le «Washington Post», le paparazzi insiste | 20 Minutes | Actualités des Journaux

  • emma richmond

    THE PICTURE IS AT THE 2013 PRESIDENT INAUGURATION. SOME RIGHT WING SMEAR CAMPAIGN. HE KISSED KELLY CLARKSON THE SAME WAY ON THE CHEEKS A HE DID BEYONCE, FIRST LADY ALSO KISSED BEYONCE ON THE CHEEKS AS THE PRESIDENT DID. IF PRESIDENT OBAMA SMILE, HUG AND SHAKE HANDS WITH WOMEN OF ALL AGES IS HE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEM? THESE ARE SAME PEOPLE THAT MADE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE PRSIDENT TAKEN PICTURES THE TWO PM’S, THEY MADE IT LOOK LIKE HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE FLIRTING WITH THE PM BY HIMSELF WHEN DAVID CAMERO WAS THERE TAKING PICTURES ALSO, BUT THEY IGNORED THAT DAVID WAS THERE TAKENING PICTURES,.
    PRESIDENT OBAMA IS LABEL AS A FLIRTER AND OTHER WORDS THEY CALLING HIM A DOG, SMELLING BEHIND ANY WOMAN. AND CASTING MICHELLE AS A ANGRY BLACK WOMAN, SHE HUG AND KISS PEOPLE AND WOULD SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH THE HEATS AT THE WH.? PRESIDENT OBAMA AND FIRST LADY ARE COMPASSION AND PEOPLE, PEOPLE.
    ROSTAIN THERE ARE OTHER PICTURES WE HAVE SEEN OF THE OBAMAS AND THE CARTERS WAS TOGETHER AT THEY FUNDRAISERS AND J-Z WAS WITH HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER AT THE BIRTHEDAY PARTY.
    WHAT WE SEE IS A RIGHT WING SMEAR CAMPAIGN TO HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE. JUST LAST MONTH RUSH LIMBAUGH SAID HE WANT PRESIDENT OBAMA TO CHEAT ON FIRST LADY MICHELLE, HE SAID HE WANTED A WHITE HOUSE SCANDAL, WE FIND IT STRANGE WITH THIS BS., COME OUT.
    ROSTAIN IS NOW SAYING HE DIDN’T SAY THE PRSIDENT OBAMA WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR, HE SAID OTHER JOURNALS ARE LOOKING INTO IT, THEN WHERE DID HE GET HIS INFORMATION FROM.
    WE HOPE BEYONCE AND HER HUSBAND SUE THIS REPORTERS AND ALL WHO’S INVOLVED.
    IT’S TIME FOR A LAW SUE
    WHAT GO ON IN PRSIDENT OBAMA AND FIRST BEDROOM IS THEY BUSINESS.

  • Pingback: GIF Of Kate Hansen Dancing To Beyonce To Preapre For Luge

  • S

    Because Beyonce and Barry can do no wrong, right?
    It’s actually not that unbelievable, there’s been a lot of talk about how strained the Obama’s marriage is at it is.