Michelle Obama Advises Justin Bieber’s Mom To Get All Up In His Business, Or Just Actually Be A Parent


In case you’ve been living on another planet or in some remote part of the world, you should know that Justin Bieber is on a rapid downward spiral.  He’s graduated from public urination in mop buckets to egging houses, driving recklessly, hot boxing airplanes, and just being an all-around dick.  Things are looking so bleak, in fact, that Michelle Obama was asked to weigh in on the Downfall of Bieber recently.  Not because she doesn’t have anything better to do, but because the “Petition to Deport Justin Bieber” has received so many signatures as of late, that it actually made its way to the White House.  Which is equal parts embarrassing and amazing, in my opinion.

The First Lady offered some advice to Bieber’s mom, Pattie Mallette, from one mother to another.  And none for Jeremy Bieber, because he sucks:

“I don’t know if it would be advice as much as action. I would be very present in his life right now. And I would be probably with him a good chunk of the time, just there to talk, to figure out what’s going on in his head, to figure out who’s in his life and who’s not, you know.”

Regardless of how old Justin is, he became famous when he was still very much a kid.  He began acting like an insufferable jerk when he was still very much a kid, and even though he’s 19 his actions and attitude prove he is, in fact, still very much a kid.  The chances of Michelle Obama’s advice falling on deaf ears is a predictable outcome, mostly because Bieber’s mom is a woman whose philosophy on parenting a child in crisis is to basically not parent them at all, and let Jesus take the wheel or something.

Well, that’s fine and dandy but Michelle Obama wants you to know if it were her kid, she’d be taking the wheel thankyouverymuch. Something tells me we’ll never have to worry about Sasha or Malia Obama throwing dairy products out of a red Ferrari, running amok up and down Pennsylvania Avenue.

(GIF: Tumblr)


You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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    • Kelly17

      I really like the Obamas they seem like thoughtful, down to earth people.

      • Robotic Arms Dealer

        Really? Barrack Obama seems like a thoughtless jerk who cares more about his party politics than the plight of the roughly 40 million un or under employeed Americans.

        <— not GOP'er; GOP has equal blame in all this.

      • Kelly17

        Yes, I think he is a thoughtful guy who cares about people. I would never think he’s “just a politician”. If he cared more about politics why would he say with practically a tear in his eye “It’s a pretty shameful day in Washington” when the gun control laws fell through? Our government just doesn’t work well together.

      • Robotic Arms Dealer

        Seems like Obama can do no wrong in your eyes. I’m not trying to convince you otherwise. But keep in mind, he’s suffering through one of the lowest POTUS job approval rating, and we’re into his 6th year as Pres, and our economy and job market is no better today than when he started his 1st yr as Pres.

        He might be the kindest hearted person in the world… unfortunately, he hasn’t produced any results of someone like that.

      • Kelly17

        I know plenty about politics, I was commenting on his personality.

      • Robotic Arms Dealer

        Oh, you know Barrack Obama in real life?

      • Kelly17

        Is there a reason this is upsetting you as much as it is? You act as though you don’t want to fight but then you get defensive when I say I like Obama.

      • Kat

        Do you?

        “Barack Obama seems like a thoughtless jerk who cares more about his party politics than the plight of the roughly 40 million un or under employeed Americans.”

        That’s not political, that’s personal.

      • Kat

        I don’t think I know if Obama “can do no wrong” in Kelly17′s eyes. I can’t tell from just that one tiny comment. In my opinion though, a tear in the eye is a classic act and definitely doesn’t prove sincerity.

      • KarenMS

        Kelly17 said “they seem like thoughtful, down to earth people.” She said absolutely nothing regarding his presidency or ability to do the job. I mess up at my less important job sometimes, and I still consider myself pretty thoughtful and down to earth.
        She even said the words “seem like” which don’t sound like someone claiming to have absolute inside knowledge. Your attack on her comments was completely unfounded and out of left field. Sounds like you needed to just start a completely new comment if you wanted to express these opinions.

    • angus seymour butz

      she also advised beibers mother to make sure he exercises every day and eat a fruit

    • Myra A Cottrill

      I’ll just say this…when there’s a petition to deport your kid that has garnered enough signatures to make it to the White House, well, parenting fail. Massive.

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