You guys. Today as I was going about my business, I discovered something wonderful. Or maybe it’s terrible, I can’t tell yet.
As you might know, Alec Baldwin‘s wife and baby mama Hilaria really likes yoga. Yeah, she’s an instructor and a practitioner of it, but bottom line, the important part is that she really really likes it. Like maybe loves it. Can’t be without it. Does it anywhere and everywhere even (especially?) in inappropriate places and then posts pictures of it to Instagram. That kind of status.
Here are just a few of the places she elected to practice her craft, ranging from ‘huh’ to ‘GIRL YOU ARE ON A PLANE RIGHT NOW TAKE IT EASY.’
1. In a cocktail dress.
JUST HANGING OUT IN YOUR FOYER, MAKING A V WITH MY LEGS!
2. On a rug in Spain.
She said she couldn’t help falling into this pose because she was so grateful to be back in Spain, so I like to imagine she fell into it as soon as she stepped off the plane and had to be carried to where she is now.
3. A mysterious hallways.
Yes, just here. This is the perfect place for that stack of humans I’ve been planning.
4. The home office.
I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I think they make chairs for this now.
5. At the salon.
“Okay no but seriously, I cannot reach your head, please sit down.”
6. In an elevator.
If a crime takes place in that elevator, the detectives are gonna be real confused by the footprints on the walls.
7. On an airplane.
Yes, because what everyone wants when they’re flying through the sky is to be TOUCHED BY YOUR HANDS AND FEET.
8. At the aquarium.
Girl that is a dark room. You are fixing to get stepped on.
9. In the middle of a public walkway.
“Nothing to see here, folks, I’m just cradling my blushing bride in my feet and hands.” WHY do these two never wear shoes?
10. In front of an unappreciative audience.
Your baby is laughing at you, Hilaria. She is laughing.
11. On a sidewalk.
The only sound effect I can think of when I look at this photo is just Hilaria bellowing as people walk by and try not to stare.
12. With a captive audience.
Please do not make your doormen do yoga. That is not their job.
13. On a conference table.
Great meeting everybody! Now let’s fucking AIR IT OUT.
14. On the red carpet.
Woman. WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES.
15. In an intersection.
What’s that, traffic? This is more important.
16. In a car.
Thought this was a normal on-the-phone-photo, then realized her foot was behind her neck. NBD or whatever.
17. At the paparazzi.
You’re a Baldwin now — you’re supposed to be attacking these guys, don’t you know that?
18. While dusting.
The yoga I don’t object to in this case, but I’m calling bullshit on the ‘I clean my own house’ thing.
19. Over cake.
Have enough respect for the glorious cupcake that you can eat it like a normal human instead of hovering precariously over it like a yoga predator.
20. In the street.
Girl you love those intersections.
21. In Central Park.
I see that you’re wearing a bikini, but this looks reeeeeeeal naked for a public park.