• Tue, Feb 4 - 11:01 am ET

Zayn Malik Is Being Phased Out Of 1D One Video At A Time, And I Think I Know Why

One Direction Midnight Memories music video GIFAll you Directioners out there, I need you to get your detective hats securely fastened, because there’s a conspiracy afoot and it involves your boy Zayn Malik being phased out of One Direction one music video at a time.

The band just released a new video for their song ‘Midnight Memories’, and dutiful fans have noticed that of all the lads, Zayn got the least amount of solo time. The video itself is three  minutes and twenty-one seconds long, but Zayn appears by himself for only eleven of those seconds, which is right around half the amount given to each of his bandmates.

As you just saw, Louis Tomlinson got more than twice that, with twenty-eight seconds, Harry Styles clocked in at thirty-two when you include shots with him and just one other bandmate, Niall Horan gets twenty-two, and even silly old Liam Payne comes away with twenty. So what gives, guys? A source close to the band tries to explain:

“The rest of the boys sing solos in the track, so obviously they feature on their own in the video a bit more. But it’s weird that in a lot of the group shots, like on the police boat, Zayn’s back is turned. Otherwise, he’s almost always lurking out of shot, except when all five of the boys are on screen. It reflects how quiet he always is in interviews with the others, too.”

Yeah, that’s one explanation, and a very professional-sounding one. But maybe the real answer is something different. Maybe the reason he’s in so few shots is that he’s NOT A VERY NICE BOY. I mean did you watch the video? He blasted Liam with a fire extinguisher after he ate a bite of hot food. TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR ZAYN. And when they get on the boat, he doesn’t even offer to help Louis drive! Maybe he’s just not a team player so they didn’t give him as much solo screen time!

No but seriously guys, I actually have a theory that Zayn might not have been totally equipped to shoot when they filmed this video. Even in some of his background shots where the other guys are energetic and engaged, he looks dazed and out-of-it, barely even getting it together enough to lip sync. He basically looks like he’s sleep-walking, and I can’t help if that had anything to do with the decision to limit his face time.

As the old saying goes — you snooze you lose.

(Image: Tumblr)

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  • Jill O’Rourke

    Maybe he’s preoccupied planning his wedding, which I somehow keep forgetting about.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      He has the seating plan on the inside of his eyelids.

  • annie

    Thats literally the stupidest theory ever! U snooze u loose? For real? U get paid to write crap like that

  • annie

    U get that its Ben Winston’s job to make sure each member gets enough screen time irrespective of the fact that one of them is tired! They unfairly give him less screen time and this is your shitty theory?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yes, this is my shitty theory. Would you like to help me get it published in a trade manual?

    • annie

      You shouldn’t be publishing anything anywhere!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Annie it’s too late for that!!!!