• Tue, Feb 4 - 10:09 am ET

OITNB Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop Toying With Our Emotions About Laura Prepon

Laura Prepon Alex Vause OITNB

Laura Prepon’s status on Orange is the New Black continues competing to win the award for Most Confusing Thing Ever. It’s like Netflix knows how dependent we’ve become on binge-watching that show, so they’re asserting the power they so obviously have over us by toying with our emotions. Allow me to recap this saga for you.

The rumors about Laura leaving started last summer, when it was reported that she wouldn’t be a series regular in season two. The world’s eyebrows collectively wept at the prospect of becoming leaderless. Netflix then denied the rumors and we felt a little better. But then it was reported that Laura would only appear in one episode next season, to wrap up her character Alex Vause’s storyline. So our eyebrows wept again. To add insult to injury, it was rumored that Laura was leaving the show because Scientology didn’t approve of her playing a lesbian. Scientology automatically adds insult to injury. Just look at TomKat’s divorce.

Then Laura herself started to confuse us by talking about how excited she was to return to the show. WHAT’S GOING ON LADY?! Things started to look up again when it was revealed that Laura was being written into more episodes — FOUR — of the show. Turns out she wanted more time to direct her first film, but she found more time in her schedule. We were relieved, but still kind of confused. And now we’re hearing even different things from the show’s creator Jenji Kohan. Here’s what she told Us Weekly:

“Yes, yes, she is coming back,” Kohan told Us of the former That ’70 Show actress at the Writers Guild Awards on Saturday, Feb. 1. “Not the whole season, but…you’ll see her for most of it.”

Okay, so now it’s “most” of the season? I’m pretty sure “most” is more than four episodes. What are you doing over there at Orange is the New Black? Why can’t you make up your minds? I feel like tomorrow I’m going to wake up to news that they lied and Laura’s actually not going to be in any episodes. Can I trust anything anyone says anymore?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’ll be in more episodes. I don’t like change, especially when it comes to TV shows, and I’d prefer everyone to stay where they are. I just wish we could get a permanent answer about Laura’s status. As Kohan also explained, it’s becoming more of an ensemble series going forward, which really excites me, since I’m a fan of the supporting characters more than I am of Piper and her issues. But I just want the show to be straight with me. We’re friends, right? Right?

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