Enrique Iglesias Made A Great Porn, But Seems To Think It’s A Music Video (NSFW)

Enrique Iglesias in I'm A Freak video February 2014We made it one month, America. One month into 2014 without a super porn-y music video ala last year’s ‘Blurred Lines’. It was nice while it lasted, but all walls must eventually fall down I suppose, and this one was already weak from last week’s foray into booty-popping against wallpaper in Shakira and Rihanna‘s video for ‘Can’t Remember To Forget You’, and it couldn’t help but come a-tumbling down with Enrique Iglesias‘ ever-so-charming ‘I’m A Freak’.

He’s only been single for four months, having recently broken up with Anna Kournikova after twelve years together, but it’s clear that Enrique hasn’t wasted any time. He’s been patting rumps and eating dessert treats off of models and smelling panties willy-nilly, and now here’s a song about it! Naturally he recruited Pitbull for the task as well, dug him out of whatever Miami mole-rat warren he’d been spending his nights in, because it’s right up his alley. And together the two of them wax poetic about all the beautiful buttz in the world.

Honestly if this was a scientific paper and it had to have an abstract that boiled down the thesis into one sentence summing it up, it’d be: BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTSBUTTSBUTTSBUTTSBUTTS.

Did you catch all that? I hope so, but even if you didn’t, don’t worry! There will be plenty of opportunities to catch up, as approximately 70% of the shots in this video are half-naked rumps bobbing excitedly as Enrique lounges contentedly over them. His black button eyes gleaming, half-drunk on lady smells, he lurches through the party, performing an almost biblical laying on of hands.

Robin Thicke? I’m pretty sure this is shots fired on your wheelhouse. Do you have a retort?

(Image: Tumblr)

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    • ola

      I’ve never really liked Enrique. But this… gross.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Aggressively sexual, right? I’m surprised at you, Enrique!

      • Gao

        You mean overtly sexual, right? There’s nothing really “aggressive” about a bunch of smiley girls in bikinis dancing with each other. Even Enrique only directly interacts with them in an equally smiley – which is different to his usual tactic of looking pained and serious.

        Even the song itself is about a mutual act moreso than the kind of lyrics of ‘Blurred Lines’. Also I’m not sure than why anyone would be surprised at this by man who made the video for ‘Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You) not to mention his current schtick is alternating between romantic and party song. It doesn’t take genius which get more attention.

    • LBFROMNJ

      Hes a disgrace! Plus he looks like an old man now! lol

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I feel like he hasn’t aged a minute, just gotten skinnier.

      • LBFROMNJ

        Maybe you need glasses, look at pictures from him years ago and now. Someone does not age that much and get that skinny like he has so quickly. Maybe hes not happy with his life, these things show on the face and body.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I DON’T NEED GLASSES HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

      • LBFROMNJ

        Then get off this topic if you cant take the truth, the man aged badly! I Have a home in LA and spend alot of time there and see him a lot. He is old looking. When hes on stage hes wearing tons of makeup. Deal with it or get off of here. btw theres nothing wrong with wearing glasses, i do too. sometimes…..

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        He looks like a little baby angel, stop this!!!!

      • LBFROMNJ

        You cant make up your mind can you? I think your high on something. Crawl back into your hole.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        HE IS A GOD.

    • Alyssa

      God damn this song is catchy

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