In case you’ve been wondering whereÂ RihannaÂ andÂ ShakiraÂ have been lately, apparently they’ve been hunkered down in a mansion by the ocean somewhere, booty-popping down the walls and smoking cigars in bed. At least according to the video for their new collaboration, a song called ‘Can’t Remember To Forget You’.
The song itself isn’t super interesting, but imagining their life together via this weird video romp through an average day definitely is. They spend part of the time looking soulful, singing directly into the camera as they make passionate butt-love to the wallpaper, but the rest is spent gently caressing each other in their chaste marital bed while they roll around in matching castoff costumes from the set ofÂ Beyonce‘s ‘Single Ladies’ video.
It’s all very sensual and languorous, like a lazy Sunday at a beach house. I spent the whole video expecting someone to bring them breakfast in bed so they could eat Eggs Benedict off each others’ thighs.
They never do quite get around to that, though, or to anything, really. In regards to the name of the song, I’m not surprised that they couldn’t remember to forget me, because according to this video, THEY FORGET A LOT. Here are just some of the things that slipped through the cracks:
- They didn’t remember to change out of their ice-skating clothes once they left the rink.
- They never sold their stripey circus futon and invested in a grown-up bed after they left college.
- They forgot to take off their shoes before they got in said stripey circus futon.
- They forgot that they could actually probably afford two beds instead of writhing around in one. It seems like a big house.
- It slipped their minds that leotards actually are not pajamas — unless you really really love sleeping with a wedgie.
- They didn’t remember to drain out the instrument room after it flooded. YOU ARE PLAYING DRUMS IN SIX INCHES OF WATER, SHAKIRA.
- Oh and they def forgot to pick up Shakira’s baby from wherever he is.
But on the plus side, this house of butts and walls is no place for an infant.