You know we’ve come a long way from this past summer whenÂ Miley CyrusÂ is doling out advice that I think is actually good, and to none other thanÂ Justin Bieber. That squeaking you’re hearing? It’s the sound of the tables turning.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually coming around on Miley. I still don’t think her performance at the VMAs this past summer was anywhere near appropriate, but I’m also much more aware now that it was a calculated career move rather than a rebellious teenager acting out. That’s just Miley’s characterÂ that she plays.Â What I originally believed was a symptom of a young girl spinning of control was actually party of a young woman’sÂ tightly controlled (and extremely successful — we missed her at the Grammys!) business plan to increase visibility, get herself talked about, and ultimately sell more records.
But whereas Miley has mastered playing her role, Justin Bieber’s role seems to be playing him. More and more, his choices (or lack thereof) are interfering with his life both personally and professionally as he racks up offenses like drag-racing, property damage, driving under the influence, assault, and resisting arrest. But don’t worry guys, Miley went on The Tonight ShowÂ last night to give Justin some much-needed advice. Namely – get yourself a goddamn babysitter.
“You’ve got a lot of money â€“ pay people to make sure you don’t get in trouble. And party at your house; buy a house and add a club to it.”
Haaaaa I love it, because it’s actually such a good idea. Right now his money seems like a liability to him, so he should turn it into a tool by using it to keep himself insulated from bad influences. And in regard to her own controversial behavior, Miley says:
“Everything I do is legal in California. I get the most flack of anybody, [but] I’m not doing anything illegal. I’m doing a lot ofÂ shit, but I’m not doing anything illegal.”
Damn girl, she’s right. But you hear that, Justin? You need to stop throwing out $75,000 in ones at a strip club and put that money toward buying yourself a giant, gilded cage, and then paying someone to keep you in it. I mean seriously, I agree with Miley — whatever it takes.
(Photo: Ethan Miller / Getty Images Entertainment)