Sometimes I’m convinced celebrities spend all their spare time thinking up better and better ways to troll us normal human beings and then laugh and laugh in the privacy of their huge mansions. Case in point, this new report about Selena Gomez dating Austin Mahone after having been set up by Taylor Swift. Hold your horses, hold the phone, hold everything you own, because I think we all need some time to hash this out.
A source told Us Weekly that Selena and Austin are “seeing each other” after Taylor played matchmaker. The new couple is keeping their relationship quiet, and at the recent Beats Music Concert on January 24, they “sneaked out separately” and “then got in the same car.” I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Who? What? Huh? Why?”
There was a rumor that Selena and Austin were an item after the VMAs last summer, when Austin shared the above photo of them together, but the pairing seemingly went nowhere. But if this new report is true, and in Hollywood I don’t put anything past anyone, then it’s very clear that Selena has a type. That type is Justin Bieber. We’ve been saying for months now that Austin is Bieber’s long-lost twin/son/clone/mirror, and even though he’s been trying really hard to distinguish himself from his shirtless predecessor, this just solidifies it. Sorry, Austin, you’re officially Justin Bieber now. And sorry Selena, but what is wrong with you? Not only is Selena 21 and Austin 17, but where did this type originate and why is it living on?
And of course I’ve saved the most WTF part of this story for last. Taylor Swift, Matchmaker Extraordinaire, is reportedly responsible for all this. The same Taylor Swift who stuck her tongue out at Jelena kissing last year. The same Taylor Swift who is now 24 years old. 24 years old and setting up her fellow twenty-something friend with a teenager. To be fair, teenagers are Taylor Swift’s favorite people because she never grew out of one herself, but really? That should be the official subtitle of this whole story: REALLY?!