• Wed, Jan 29 - 3:17 pm ET

16 Celebrities Who Have No Problem Finding Someone To Date

Darryl Philbin from The Office 'I would date the hell out of me' GIF(via)

So That Awkward Moment comes out this Friday, and since it’s so full of guys I wouldn’t mind being linked up with, it got me thinking about dating. And not just any dating, but serial dating. Like, you know that girl you grew up with or that guy you knew in college who was always dating someone? They’d break up with one person and, like, days later be walking around hand-in-hand with someone else, like some sort of wizardry.

I spent most of my formative years struggling even to make eye contact with a gentleman I was interested in, but there was always someone in my life who seemed to find it as easy as hailing a cab. They were never single because they didn’t want to be, and they were lucky enough never to have to be. MUST BE NICE.

And maybe you yourself didn’t know anybody like this, but I’m positive I’m not making it up, because I see it happen in the celebrity world as well. Most people drift into and out of relationships at random, but there are some people who have them lined up back to back to back to back, like the dating version of chain-smoking.

These are their stories. BUM-BUM.

1. Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio Laugh

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I’m pretty much convinced at this point that Leo has a revolving door somewhere on his property that connects directly to the Victoria’s Secret University campus.

2. Madonna

Madonna Smile

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Ever since her marriage to Guy Ritchie ended, Madonna has been plucking up progressively younger dancers off her tours and making them her own. Every time she needs a new batch of marrow to feed on, she makes a phone call and they send over another model to be youth-harvested.

3. George Clooney

George Clooney Look Up

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OH HEY GEORGE. I see you, performing a vital service out there. He’s elevating the C-List models and bartenders to B-List models and bartenders, one person at a time.

4. Britney Spears

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I’m of the personal opinion that this comes from her team more than it comes from Britney herself, but she barely has fifteen seconds of breathing time between boyfriends these days. They’re little more than unpaid babysitters at this point, and if they stick around for long enough, they get to become co-conservators of Britney’s fortune. Bonus.

5. Harry Styles

Harry Styles Laughing

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Harry does love him some fakelationships, doesn’t he? But even we are baffled by the dip from Taylor Swift to Kendall Jenner. What are you doing?

6. Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Smile

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And speaking of Miss Swift, she’s been in a bit of a quiet period recently, but back when she was writing music, she could go through one guy every two to three months. How else are you gonna get the spirit of inspiration to strike?

7. John Mayer

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This guy must have a magic penis or something, because it’s Standing Room Only to get in on that action. He’s not the best looking guy, but he pulls an insane variety of really big names to date, from Jennifer Aniston to Taylor Swift to Jessica Simpson, and obviously Katy Perry.

8. Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz Smile Wave

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Listen girl, you get after it. Cameron has been single for even longer than Jennifer Aniston, but somehow she’s been able to avoid the stigma of being a lonely, barren, nag. Who knows why that is, but Cameron seems to be perfectly happy doing whatever and whoever the eff she wants, whether it’s Justin Timberlake or Alex Rodriguez.

9. Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper Look Up

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If a lady in Hollywood is ever single at the same time as Bradley, it’s pretty likely she’s gonna be linked to him. He’s been rumored to be dating pretty much everyone, from obvious ones like Zoe Saldana and Renee Zellweger to more suspect ones like Jennifer Aniston and…Suki Waterhouse. No way that relationship is a real thing.

10. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

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They tend to keep their lives a little more secretive, probably since they spent their entire childhood in the spotlight, but I don’t think I’ve ever been aware of either of them being single. Maybe they know some sort of twin recitation that they say and are immediately rewarded with boyfriends.

11. Seth MacFarlane

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Seth is another one who’s not necessarily a ten in the looks department, but because he’s smart and funny and successful, he’s somehow able to end up with SUPER hot prospects like Emilia Clarke and Charlize Theron.

12. Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Smile

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I guess that’s what comes of having ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD crammed into your tiny purse so you have it available to wipe your tiny dog’s ass when it takes a tiny poop, but I’m still impressed by Paris’ tenacity in the dating department. Girl is racking up some serious numbers.

13. Adam Levine

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He may be engaged now, but even if he wasn’t, I have a feeling all Adam would have to do is stick his face out the side of a car driving through Modeltown, and like four or five of them would jump on the hood, clamoring to be dated.

14. Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Smiling

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I have a feeling I’d have a little trouble finding a boyfriend if I’d been to rehab six times by the age I am now, but LiLo has always really been a go-getter in that department.

15. Charlie Sheen

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Um, see above. After all his rehab stints, visits to jail, overdoses, and charges of domestic abuse, Charlie still has a string of ‘goddesses’ ready to move into his mansion at a moment’s notice. WHAT IS THIS WORLD.

16. Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston Smile

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And poor dear Jennifer who, try as we might to deny it, is never actually single for very long. The media just loves obsessing over her not being married since her divorce to Brad Pitt, so they make it seem like she’s a spinster. 

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  • Olivia Wilson

    How can anyone date Seth MacFarlane when he sounds exactly like Brian Griffin? I can’t picture anything else the moment he starts talking.

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  • kikidust

    Not sure how I feel about counting Mary Kate and Ashley as only 1 human?

  • chissy

    FYI every person on this list is white. is there any sort of cultural acceptance between those who write about hollywood? just wondering b/c i would date the hell out of John Cho.

  • SabrinaCollinsMix

    Do people legitimately listen to John Mayer? I’m not talking ’02 back when “No Such Thing” first hit it. I mean, why is he still a thing? Is it just cause he dates women who are tabloid bait, or are there people out there desperately waiting for his next album to drop?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Katy Perry is, for sure.