• Tue, Jan 28 - 10:56 am ET

The Worst Movies Starring 2014′s Best Actor Oscar Nominees

The New Girl judging you GIF(via)

It’s tough to be an Oscar-nominated actor, you guys. Or right now it is, anyway — I’m sure it’ll all be fine once the statues are actually awarded, but in the meantime, egos. are. soaring.

And rightfully so, because an Academy Award is a really incredible thing, even a nomination. Everyone should be patting themselves on the back. But we should also be aware of the fact that right now, there are ten people walking around thinking they’re top of the heap, cream of the crop, king of — this is a Frank Sinatra song, isn’t it? — the hill. And we can’t have that, because it throws off the whole Hollywood pH. With so many people swaggering around Los Angeles, there’s a very real danger that it might sink into the sea.

And we can’t have that, so we’re putting ourselves on the case. Just to help celebrities maintain a good healthy equilibrium, Crushable has decided to take each Oscar nominee for Best Actor and Best Actress and keep their ego in check…by reminding them of the worst movie they’ve ever done. It doesn’t make their current achievements any less impressive, but sometimes it’s good to get taken down a peg.

LET’S BEGIN.

1. Christian Bale

Nominated For: American Hustle
Worst Movie Ever: Harsh Times (2005)

Christian would probably say his worst movie was Newsiesbecause he apparently really hates that movie, but I love it, so NOPE. Instead I opted for Harsh Times, a movie in which he puts on a really crappy accent and investigates violence in Los Angeles.

2. Amy Adams

Nominated ForAmerican Hustle
Worst Movie Ever: Leap Year (2010)

Even the pretense for this movie is absurd — once every four years, on Leap Year, a woman can propose to a man. I KNOW. Even though she’s a woman, Amy Adams embarks on a hilarious quest to go propose to her fiance, a man. Hijinks!!!!

3. Bruce Dern

Nominated ForNebraska
Worst Movie EverCoffin Baby (2013)

First of all, let me say — THAT TRAILER IS HORRIFYING DON’T WATCH IT I WARNED YOU. But second of all, yup, you read that right. Bruce Dern made both Nebraska and Coffin Baby in the same year. Get after it.

4. Cate Blanchett

Nominated ForBlue Jasmine
Worst Movie Ever: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

I’m sure she was probably great in it, because I highly doubt Cate has ever been bad in a movie, but she had a severe haircut, a pidgin German dialect, and Shia LaBeouf was working hard enough for the both of them, so I’m counting it.

5. Leonardo DiCaprio

Nominated ForThe Wolf of Wall Street
Worst Movie Ever: The Man In The Iron Mask (1998)

“The cruel King Louis XIV of France has a secret twin brother who he keeps imprisoned. Can the twin be substituted for the real king?”

I’m just gonna leave that IMDb blurb right there and watch Leo’s first flourish in the trailer like ten more times.

6. Sandra Bullock

Nominated ForGravity
Worst Movie Ever: All About Steve (2009)

I had a lot of options at my disposal, but if you thought I was gonna choose a worst movie for Sandra that wasn’t All About Steve, you’ve got another think coming. She plays an insane, desperate woman who literally STALKS Bradley Cooper until he agrees to date her. And then later that same year, The Blind Side came out. So pardon me if I have some questions about her judgement.

7. Chiwetel Ejiofor

Nominated For12 Years a Slave
Worst Movie Ever: 2012 (2009)

Remember back in the day when we thought the world was gonna end in 2012? And then three years before that happened, we made a movie about it? Good thing that movie will never be out of date.

8. Judi Dench

Nominated For: Philomena
Worst Movie Ever: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004)

Judi, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Not only are you starring in a franchise helmed by Vin Diesel, you’re wearing a classy little space-nun’s habit while you do it.

9. Matthew McConaughey

Nominated ForDallas Buyers Club
Worst Movie Ever: Failure To Launch (2006)

Ohhh boy. Matthew is another one like Sandra, with a ton of options, and I did consider Fool’s Gold for him as well, but I decided to go with the movie where he plays an adult man who lives at home, whose parents hire him a concubine to lure him out instead of just ASKING HIM TO LEAVE. But omg so many fun capers, you’re gonna love it.

10. Meryl Streep

Nominated ForAugust: Osage County
Worst Movie Ever: Mamma Mia! (2008)

I know that there are lots of people out there who like this movie, and like two in every three British households own a copy of it or something, but no. No no no no no no no.

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  • Ginny

    First, let me say I’m with you on the Newsies love. One of my absolute all time favorite movies. All About Steve is terrible, but I still find myself watching it every time it’s on TV. Same goes for Leap Year, but I do love a terrible chick flick. Mama Mia we’re just going to have to agree to disagree. As for 2012, there is nothing I like more than a terrible sci-fi disaster movie. Ever catch disaster movie day on the Syfy network? It’s the best!

    • carrie thompson

      ‘Leap Year’ is awful… And I have seen it several (ok, many) times.

      ‘Newsies’ is amazing and wonderful and I refuse to consider any other perspective. They wander around a backlot in Hollywood dancing, singing, and screaming about ‘papes!’ in New Yawk accents so over-the-top they makes Marisa Tomei in ‘My Cousin Vinny’ sound almost British in comparison. It’s perfection!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Newsies4life.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      If they’re gonna be bad movies, at least they went all the way bad, right? This way they’re still funny to watch.

  • Kathy

    Meryl Streep was great in Mamma Mia. What was wrong with that movie had nothing to do with her. The men were all miscast – Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgard – these guys couldn’t sing. But Meryl has a great voice, and Amanda Seyfried turns out to have a nice voice too. If the men’s parts had been written to be “non-singing” I think I would have liked it better. Or get guys like Kevin Kline, etc. who can do the musical part of it.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      It has nothing to do with how they are in the movie, it’s about the quality of the movie overall. And in the case of Mamma Mia, I was not a fan.

  • carrie thompson

    Bonus ‘Failure to Launch’ and ‘All About Steve’: they also star Bradley Cooper, this year’s Supporting Actor nominee.
    Wow- Cooper’s been in some stinkers.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Oooh great point!
      I’m gonna do Best Supporting Actor nominees next week, I think!

  • http://gabrielle2lastnames.tumblr.com/ Gabrielle Hanson-Moore

    I LOVED Leap Year. I’m also incredibly biased towards anything with Matthew Goode’s face in it, so there’s that.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      That’s fair, I have people like that too.

    • martad

      agreed! if Matthew Goode is one of the leads in the film, it can’t be that bad.

  • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

    Chronicles of Riddick was silly stupid hot-guy fun. Vin Diesel and Doctor McCoy. I love the Riddick franchise even though the 2nd and 3rd movies pretty much sucked. Crematoria? Please.
    Newsies is one of my favorites and I love it, so no he’s not allowed to use that one, I concur.

  • elle

    I agree with Christian Bale-I hate Newsies! I very specifically remember watching it in 8th grade and hating it and maybe whispering kill me now halfway through But everyone else seems to love it so maybe I’m just missing something. Not gonna lie but I watch Failure to Watch whenever it’s on TV. Why? I don’t know. Come on Kathy Bates, his fiancee just died maybe cut him a little slack ok? But still I love it.

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  • Eimear

    As an Irish person I was horrified by Leap Year, couldn’t even watch the whole thing, kept getting ‘P.S. I Love you’ trauma flashbacks. Felt weirdly disappointed in Amy Adams , opposite feeling when discovered Christian Bale, the tough guy serious actor type in Newsies, worry my crush on him will never fade after that

  • StephC12

    Holy shit, Failure to Launch is definitely one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I paid to see that in theaters, and I have no idea why I thought that would be a good idea.

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