The 2014 Grammys were held last night, and boy was it strange. Whenever you put a bunch of musicians in the same room, weird things are bound to happen, but this year the weird part was that there was no weird part. There was an inordinate amount of quiet piano-playing and somber lighting. The most exciting stuff happened under Pharrell’s hat. It was severely lacking in crazy performances you’ll talk about the next day. Namely, it was severely lacking in Miley Cyrus.
Miley wasn’t nominated for anything this year, but she showed up to Saturday night’s Pre-Grammy Gala, and she had to have been invited to the awards themselves, I would assume. But alas, there was no tongue or twerking to be found on the red carpet or during the show. I couldn’t believe how much I wanted Miley Cyrus to show up and hump a teddy bear. Anything would have been better than the emo horror show we got.
While we held out hope that Miley would make a surprise appearance at some point, perhaps rappelling down from the ceiling on P!nk’s acrobatic fabric, it turns out Miley was just hanging out playing Guitar Hero. She uploaded a video to her Instagram account captioned, “video of tonights performance.” Ouch, that definitely seems like a dig at the show for not nominating her or inviting her to perform. But Miley, why would you abandon us in our time of need? Aren’t you always in the mood for more attention?
Part of me thinks maybe she’s pulling a miniature Anne Hathaway and giving us a break from her before she starts her tour next month. We haven’t heard as much from her as usual recently, especially considering how much she dominated the news last year. In that case, her plan is definitely working. Help us, Miley Cyrus! You’re our only hope!