In a gesture that’s so heartwarming my ribs are currently sweating balls, Harry Styles offered his leftover dinner to a paparazzo. And in return the paparazzo promised to stop stalking him forever. Also to pursue a more noble profession. Like saving dalmatian puppies from woman who want to turn them into fur coats. Or portraying a teacher in a made-for-tv movie who changes kids’ lives.
Just kidding, he didn’t offer to do any of that. But he did graciously accept the hamburger. One second he was trying to get Harry Styles all riled up and the next second he’s channeling Oliver Twist.
“For me ‘Arry? Little ole me? Why TMZ hasn’t let us urchins eat in weeks. ‘No food for you wretch until you find photos of a wholesome celeb snorting cocaine.’ Thank you m’boy. Also do you have shoes for me feet?”
Seriously guys, it’s a transformation that you really have to see to believe. Think Mia Thermopolis’ transformation from a glasses-wearing geek to a the Princess of Genovia times ten. No times fourteen hundred billion. And it all takes place within a minute, without the help of a musical montage or a broken hairbrush.
But what’s even better than the paparazzo’s reaction — and I know, you didn’t think anything could be better — is Harry Styles’ total nonchalance about the entire situation. Even when this guy’s up in his face, trying to piss him off with questions about The Wanted breaking up, Harry remains completely calm. In fact, it’s not until the pap’s practically in his car that he distracts him with the cold hamburger. “Fetch boy,” his simple gesture says.
And what’s better than that — and I know guys, I keep one-upping myself here — is that the paparazzo tears into the burger before even putting his camera down. Which means that the distraction worked! Also that celebrities could avoid this whole “being stalked by men with cameras” thing if they just carried around leftovers with them.