Taylor Swift channeled old school Willow Swift at the 2014 Grammys during her performance of “All Too Well” and whipped her hair back and forth. And back and forth. And for good measure, back and forth again. Not since Miguel jumped on an innocent bystander’s neck at last year’s Billboard Music Awards have I ever worried so much about someone’s neck. And her back. And her p….you know what, I’m not even going to go there tonight. It’s a Sunday night and I have more respect for myself than that. (Even though it’s now stuck in my head…)
While we obviously hoped that Taylor would do an encore of last year’s Grammy’s performance and call out one of her ex-boyfriends on stage, she played it cool this year. Just showed up on stage, sat at a piano, sang a song, attempted to hair flip the heartbreak out of her body, narrowly missed paralyzing herself and then left. Sure, everyone knows that song’s about Jake Gyllenhaal, but she didn’t even whisper his name. Or do a *cough* Jake *cough*. Which I suppose means she’s growing up. And/or plotting something huge. Obvi my fingers are crossed for plotting something huge. I kinda actually miss not-so-passive-aggressive Taylor. There I said it.
In the meantime, I just hope she remembers that her neck’s made of bone and cartilage and not Stretch Armstrong.