33 gay and straight couples got married at the 2014 Grammys tonight during Macklemore’s performance. Which I think we all saw coming. What’s an awards ceremony these days without a
PR stunt mass wedding. Naturally Queen Latifah officiated the ceremony and even more naturally Madonna sang during the reception. And I say naturally because whenever I think about my wedding, I picture Queen Latifah and Madonna standing there besides me. In a giant auditorium. Surrounded by 32 other couples. In front of a live television audience. Then again, I’m a romantic. Ever since I first learned what the word commitment meant, I started fantasizing about my own wedding.
“Oh momma,” I remember saying to her after Kindergarten one day, “do you think I’ll really get married at the Grammys one? Or is big brother right? I’m destined to exchange my vows at a b-list awards show like the American Music Awards?”
“Dream big Jenni,” she said to me, “dream big! Maybe, just maybe, Madonna will still be alive and still be mobile and she’ll be there too.”
“Oh Momma, a girl should be so lucky!” I responded, “also should people who are dating someone, but not seriously dating someone be invited with a plus one?”
So yeah, I found nothing at all odd about the events that went down during tonight’s Grammy awards. May the 33 couples’ love be as big as the ratings! Or at the very least, may these couples go onto star on some reality show about life after mass marriage. Also may Madonna live forever!