Scooter Braun Is Shocked Bieber Is Acting Like Such A Dick All Of A Sudden Always

Scooter Braun and Justin Bieber attending the opening of Believe December 2013You always hear those stories about random people scattered throughout the country who for whatever reason thought it was a really great idea to have, like, an alligator as a pet. And then when the alligator starts acting like an alligator and, I don’t know, eats their house cat or their head or something, they’re totally shocked. But it was an alligator the whole time, y’know? So I don’t know why we didn’t see this coming.

That’s how I feel about Scooter Braun being so shocked and dismayed about Justin Bieber‘s recent arrest for driving without a license and driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest and drag-racing and smoking weed and taking prescription drugs and whatever else he’s racked up against him at this point. HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS COMING. I know I certainly did, but judging by a recent tweet from Scooter, this is totes out of left field, and will be dealt with accordingly.

Cute idea, Scooter — act like someone who truly cares about Bieber by making sure there are consequences for his actions. I know you wouldn’t think of letting Justin get away with any nonsense behavior because you love him so dearly, so thank goodness you’re perking up and shouldering your responsibilities as a manager / adult the moment anything seems amiss. Way to be the adult in the situation…only a year and a half too late right on time.

Because you know what I realized? That alligator analogy before was pretty off. You didn’t own an alligator — it was a puppy, dude. And if you never punish a puppy for peeing on the carpet or eating your shoes, sooner or later it’s gonna grow up to be a dog, and its crimes are going to escalate to stuff like drag-racing and resisting arrest. That’s just something you as a dog-owner should be aware of.

So maybe cool it with the shocked and faux-supportive tweets, Scotter, given that you discovered this pup on YouTube in 2008 and never bothered to spend a single day since training it. I think the window might’ve closed on obedience school.

(Photo: FayesVision /

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    • Jill O’Rourke

      I bet Bieber’s chewed on SO MANY of Scooter’s shoes. Seriously.

    • Josie

      Another far fetched article from you, Alexis. Nothing in those tweets indicated shock. Who knows what he has or has not done to curb Justin. Just like with parenting, once a kid reaches the age of majority there is not a whole lot that can be done to control their behavior. He has to learn his own lessons and most kids (normal or famous) learn best the hard way.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Do they really learn BEST the hard way? Personally, I’d rather be someone like Hayden Panettiere (who says her parents were super strict on her when she was growing up) than someone like Lindsay Lohan, whose parents let her do whatever. We’re currently seeing the consequences of both, and I’d vastly prefer the former.

      • Rachel

        I agree with being strict with kids but the time for that has passed. Unfortunately, justin is an adult now and he’s responsible for his actions. Being strict starts when theyre young, at this point his parents can only talk to him and hope he starts making smarter decisions. I mean its not like they can ground him, spank him, take away his allowance, etc… :

      • Josie

        Everybody goes through a period of sowing their oats and learning life’s lessons. Yes, there are different extremes and some people are more inclined to push limits based on their personalities, upbringing, etc. But, I stand by the statement that learning the hard way, meaning through personal experience, is the best way to learn. There is not one thing anybody can say to Justin right now that will convince him to change his ways. Until he personally experiences the consequences in a way that is unpleasant and meaningful to him he will continue on the path he’s on.

      • Rachel

        The sad thing is, although scooter is his manager, he’s still not his father. His parents need to step their game up and be involved more, not stand on the sidelines and help block the street while you watch your son drag race under the influence (looking at you dad).

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    • Snowfazam12

      I think your article is PATHETIC talking about my friends like ANY of it!! THAT’S what I think!!

    • keller

      Pathetic article