Jon Hamm Takes His Penis For A Walk, Also His Dog

Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt Walking Dog Penis January 2014

While we’re all bundled up on the East Coast looking more pathetic than any urchin you ever read about in a Charles Dickens novel, the celebrities are strolling around outside in the California sunshine wearing nothing more than one layer of clothing. Some of those celebrities happen to include Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Oh and Jon Hamm’s penis. All three got spotted taking a leisurely stroll around their Los Feliz neighborhood.

Alright, alright, fine, you’re right. Their dog Cora was there too. But I’m so sick of talking about Cora. That’s all anyone ever brings up! I can’t remember the last time I asked someone, “have you see that photo of Jon Hamm’s –” without being interrupted by that someone saying “dog named Cora.” So sorry I’m not at all sorry that I failed to mention her at first. Because honestly, it’s about time that the Penis of Hamm gets some attention.

Jon Hamm walking with Jennifer Westfeldt Penis Dog 2014

Even though I’m not currently in possession of a penis, I do know that they need to be exercised at least three times a week. Or else they grow lethargic and end up spending their Friday nights on the couch, trying to eat hummus while laying fully flat on their backs. Actually nix that, I’m talking about myself. But I’m sure the same applies to peni. Hence why I’m so happy to see Jon Hamm taking his penis out for a walk. Would hate to see it caged up and restrained by underwear and hidden beneath non-revealing pants! Keep on exercising it Jon, may it only grow bigger and stronger and easier to spot.


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    • Lindsey Conklin

      hahahahaha but poor Cora, just following along, totally being ignored by jon, jen and the penis

      • Jenni

        You know she’s a total tag along. They don’t even know she’s with them.

      • Meredith Hirt

        I really don’t think they do; they brought the leash for Jon’s penis. The dog just kind of followed them out the door.

    • em

      Got to be honest, even though I did laugh while reading this, I felt pretty bad while doing so.. if someone wrote an article about some actress taking her boobs out for a walk I wouldn’t think it was cool

      • Jenni

        I struggle with that double standard every time I report on his penis. It’s just…that … I’m sometimes a hypocrite.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Oh my god, that poor dog is like a middle school girl who can’t walk in line with everybody else in her group at the mall. :(

      • Samantha Escobar


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    • Madeline Raynor

      Which bulge is the phone?

    • martad

      did i miss something? jon has _bigger_ than fassbender? [amazed]

    • Ms George Zip

      Jenni you make me laugh. Great writing. And please keep up with the Jon Hamm penis reports. You are doing God’s work, my friend.

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