In an effort to outdo last week’s statements about Kate Gosselin turning his children into baby serial killers, Jon Gosselin once again talked to the courts about why he needs custody of his children right away. Oh I’m sorry, did I type courts? I meant In Touch Weekly! They’re like the courts, except Jon’s statements there do not get him any closer to helping his children. But they do get him closer to the spotlight. And how he misses the feeling of being in the spotlight! It was so hot, but so very fun.
Earlier this week, Jon Gosselin said he would file for primary custody of the sextuplets because Kate’s ruining them with her heinous ways. And even worse, she now has Mady and Cara following in her footsteps of being an insane bitch. Don’t take my word for it though, see what Jon had to say about his two older daughters. Daughters, who I might add, who are fully capable of reading these quotes.
Jon explains that it’s no longer just Kate who makes the kids miserable at home, Kate has turned the twins into mini-me enforcers with full rein to discipline the younger ones. “They get rewarded with special treatment,” Jon says of Mady and Cara. “She’s trained them to mirror her.”
Yes, please take a moment to give Jon Gosselin a standing ovation for having the courage to stand up to these 13-year-old monsters. Little Hitlers-in-training is probably more accurate here. I mean, they sound absolutely horrible. Also his daughters, if we’re getting technical here. But technical’s a big word and why bother with that when we’re facing this horror show.
Seriously his (other) kids are real lucky to have a father brave enough to trash talk his teen daughters in a tabloid. Also lucky enough to have a father speak out about their gross medical conditions. Again, don’t take my word for it, take his!
“Alexis doesn’t know the difference between poison ivy and weeds, so she had poison ivy all summer long,” he says. “She was sweating and itchy … It was disgusting, poor kid.”
Yucko! That does sound disgusting Jon! And totally worth mentioning in a national interview. Can’t wait for Alexis to hear what her father really thought of her rash. After all, our on-call parenting expert/moonshine-maker says nothing’s better for a growing girl than to hear her father call her disgusting.
Jon Gosselin, you’ve again, outdone yourself! If I were you, I’d wait right by the mailbox. That “World’s Worstest Father” trophy’s arriving any day now.