Rumors are currently flying on the Internet that Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult are engaged. And that’s all thanks to OK! Magazine — a news source that’s known for reporting hard hitting stories like 2010′s “At Last, A Baby Brother for Suri!” and 2012′s “Jen: Yes I’m Pregnant with Twins.” So yeah, take this news with a grain of salt. Plus a whole bag salt. Also do you have a barrel? Cool, fill that with salt too. Then drop it into the Dead Sea.
According to Hollywood Life, who loves rumors almost as much as OK!, the two got engaged over the holidays and it was perfect and Jen’s walking on air and they’re getting married in 2015 and she’s pinning everything that’s pinnable to her wedding board and oh it’s all so lovely! Minus the fact that there’s no way it’s true. Even though Jen’s currently the most popular woman on Earth (3rd most popular on Mars), she’s still only 23. And even though she’s a total goofball during interviews, I think it’s clear she has a good head on her shoulders. While I don’t know Nicholas Hoult as well as I pretend to know Jen, I’d like to think that he’s the same way. Especially because he’s British. Can you imagine someone with a British accent making a poor decision? I don’t think it’s scientifically possible. So wonderful relationship aside, they’re both way too young to get married and I’d like to think they know that. It’s hard enough making a relationship work in Hollywood, why throw youth into the mix?!
Also, dystopian elephant in the room, we all know that she’s going to marry Josh Hutcherson. Eventually. You know, once he finally gets around to realizing that they’re more than just friends. So sadly for Nicholas, this just isn’t in the stars for them.