• Mon, Jan 20 - 9:04 am ET

Ben Affleck’s Big Dick Was All Anyone Could Talk About At The Producers Guild Awards

Ben Affleck UCLA School Of Theater Film And Television Film Festival  June 2013

Last night the most anticipated award show of the season among producers was held: The 25th Annual Producers Guild of America Awards. While I’m sure there were lots of important producery things to talk about, the people attending apparently preferred to talk about the size of Ben Affleck’s penis. Ugh, it’s so like Ben Affleck’s penis to steal the spotlight. After all, it is attached to the original award show attention hog himself.

I suppose I should explain the context for this penile discussion. According to E! Online, while accepting an award, producer Chuck Lorre chose to reveal that at the Golden Globes last week, he peed next to Ben Affleck. And obviously he looked at his penis. I mean, what else was he supposed to do while peeing in a public bathroom? Not look at another man’s penis? Yeah, right. Here’s what he said:

“Yes I peeked. And yes, Comic Con, he can play Batman.”

Unless Batman is reputed to have a very tiny to average-sized penis, it would seem Chuck is revealing that Mr. Affleck has quite the impressive package. Obviously when Ben took the stage to present later in the show, he brought up his dick again. (And yes, I realize how that phrase sounds and immediately regret typing it.)

“I was at the bar briefly, and I came back to my seat and somebody said, ‘You know, there was a guy up on stage who said you have a big d–k,’” the Oscar winner joked to the audience. “I was like, ‘You know, isn’t that always how is goes? The one time it happens and I miss it!’ Thank you very much. Whoever you are, God bless you. I’m often confused with Matt Damon but rarely with Michael Fassbender, so…”

First of all, that strikes me as a sneaky jab at Matt Damon, in Ben Affleck’s classic “marriage is work” style of award show comments. Second of all, does Ben not wonder who the hell took the stage and revealed inside knowledge about his penis to a room full of Hollywood bigwigs? I hope Ben never reads any articles about this and just spends the rest of his life searching for the man who complimented his junk onstage at an award show. What an inspiring story. Also #NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECKSDICK

(Photo: Tai Urban/WENN.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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  • Kathy

    If it really happened the way you tell it, it sounds like he just wanted to tell a joke and not call attention to Chuck Lorre. Also Ben and Matt are BFF’s so he can make a joke and Matt won’t take it the wrong way. All in good fun!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      It’s all fun and games until… something something something penis.

  • Peasant

    I don’t believe this story. He broke the guy code. You always look straight to the wall and NEVER look around.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Chuck Lorre: Men’s Room Rebel