You’d better tie up your shoelaces nice and tight because otherwise your socks will be knocked clear off. Did you know that celebrities have bodies which weigh amounts? And, while some of them like to talk about their new projects, relationships, or whatever, others really get a kick out of talking about those things plus what they do to lose weight. Or, I should say, their weight loss plus those things, since that definitely feels like the order of importance. Can you tell that they’ve just dropped a solid 2.75 pounds? Because if so, you should mention it; although, no worries if you don’t because they’ll be sure to bring it up over and over again.
So, in honor of this slightly ridiculous headline about the recipe that helpedÂ Jessica SimpsonÂ lose 8 pounds in 2 weeks (so specific!), here are 11 celebrities who won’t shut up about weight loss. I’ve telepathically pleaded with them and everything, to no avail, because the world must know precisely how many lunges they do on the reg.
1. Jessica Simpson
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)
For Example:Â â€śI went on the South BeachÂ Diet [forÂ Dukes of Hazzard]. I trained for six days a week, two-and-a-half hours a day. I was determined to look good in those shorts.â€ť –Â toÂ Indie LondonÂ
Starting with Jessica, herself. It really does seem like, at any given moment, she’s either in the middle of being pregnant, shedding the baby weight or creeping onto every magazine cover to talk about said weight. That’s it. And because of this little cycle she’s designed, we’re treated toÂ alwaysÂ hearing about her weight in some form or another. Oh, look, she’s putting it on! Now, she’s taking it off. And, here she is folding it up like a throw blanket and putting it in her linen closet. Fascinating.
2. Jennifer Aniston
(Photo: Darla Khazei/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “I take 8-lb. weights with me whenever Iâ€™m staying in a hotel. Itâ€™s always good to do arm exercises when youâ€™re watching television or talking on the phone.” –Â toÂ GlamourÂ magazine
Jen admitted that she actually used to be way more obsessed with dieting, but that doesn’t stop her from popping in every other day to talk about how she stays looking how she does. Go ahead, just google “Jennifer Aniston diet” and see if you won’t be scrolling for days and days through all of the different results.
3. Jennifer Lawrence
(Photo: AO Images/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “I eat like a caveman, Iâ€™ll be the only actress who doesnâ€™t have anorexia rumors. In Hollywood, Iâ€™m obese. Iâ€™m considered a fat actress,Â Iâ€™m Val Kilmer in that one picture on the beach.” — toÂ ElleÂ magazine
This one is a special case because J. Law can’t stop won’t stop talking about how she won’t lose weight. One of her favorite pastimes (next to photo bombing her celebrifriends on red carpets and being in secret love with Josh Hutcherson) is talking about how she refuses to give in to the pressure to diet and lose weight.
(Photo:Â Darla Khazei/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “When Iâ€™m on tour I dance two hours a night, so I donâ€™t need to work out. When Iâ€™m not on the road I try to work out regularly. I run about two-and-a-half miles on the treadmill and I have a trainer. But itâ€™s sexier when it doesnâ€™t look like you go to the gym.” — toÂ VeryÂ magazine
Beyonce enjoys nonchalant commentary about her great figure as much as your next deity. I’m sure that things like, “I don’t even work out!” and “Oh, wait, but IÂ doÂ follow this strict diet” get tossed around in the heavens all the time.
5. Christian Bale
(Photo:Â Darla Khazei/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “I had a stupid kind of feeling of invincibility, like, “I can do it, I can manage it”. I really did feel like I hit this point of enlightenment.” –Â toÂ Chud.com
Actors especially love talking about losing weight when it was for a role, because I guess that shows the ultimate dedication. Christian just happens to be someone who loses and gains weight left and right for roles, so I don’t know why he’s still into discussing it all the time, but he does anyway.
6. Kim Kardashian
(Photo: Revolutionpix/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “It’s honestly, I think, the greatest challenge of my life to have gained 50 pounds and actually, I got on the scale today and it said that I am 50 pounds down.” onÂ The Tonight ShowÂ With Jay Leno
To be fair, lots of people made fun of her for gaining weight while she was pregnant, as if that’s some strange idea that no one’s heard of happening before. But boy oh boy, did Kim revel in the opportunity to reemerge from her post-pregnancy cave and pose for a magazine cover in a bikini. Also to remind us that her butt is still there (it could have fallen off, you never know.) And to let us know that it was all a part of her master plan.
7. Kirstie Alley
(Photo: Demis Maryannakis/Pacific Coast News)
For Example: “When you’re the spokeswoman for a weight-loss program, everything is witnessed. I weigh in once a week with a witness. I have to sign an affidavit saying I cannot have any surgeries.” — source unknown
Kirstie is and always will be the reigning queen of “Wow, Another Weight Loss Commercial?” Jessica Simpson tried to campaign for the throne, but no one is stealing Kirstie’s title.