Kim Kardashian recently visited The Ellen DeGeneres Show to partake in her favorite pastime — talking about herself. And also to promote the new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I guess. She also combed through the many (probably Photoshopped) butt selfies I’m sure she has on her phone and managed to find a few new photos of her baby North West.
Kim doesn’t show the photos until the end of the video, forcing us to sit through her stories Clockwork Orange style as we wait with bated breath to see photos of a baby we don’t know without really understanding why we’re so excited. Or is that just what I was feeling when I watched this? Just me? Good to know. Kim’s stories range from explaining that pregnancy is the worst (but she’s willing to go through it five more times to reach her ideal number of children) to telling us that Kanye West will only change diapers “if it’s an emergency.” So apparently Kanye is like your third grade teacher who wouldn’t let you leave the room during a test unless you were about to pee your pants.
After what feels like three hours, we finally get to see the photos. Kim says North changes every day, and as much as I make an effort to disagree with everything Kim Kardashian says, I can totally see how that’s true. North is growing up so fast! Remember when she was just a tiny little nugget reaching out and asking us to save her in that first photo? I hate to get all dramatic, but North West is making me feel old. Just add her to that list, which already includes “realizing Mean Girls came out ten years ago” and “seeing my Facebook friends get engaged.” Do me a favor and stop growing up, North West.