Everybody knows that the most passive-aggressive thing you can do in the age of the internet is to crop someone out of a photo and post it to your own social media, right? And if you don’t refer to or apologize for the slight in some sort of irreverent caption, then it becomes truly ice cold. THIS IS KNOWN.
Which is why we’re all aware that it was no accident last night when Beyonce cropped her supposed friend Kelly Rowland out of an Instagram photo. It would be easier if it were a mistake, because then we wouldn’t have to completely excise Kelly from our lives and memories and consciousness. But clearly we MUST, as Queen Bey never makes mistakes, and every imperceptible move that she makes on social media is a subtle clue for all of us to study and internalize and make a part of our lives on a cellular level. That’s what it means to be her fans, and if you’re not doing it that way, you’re not doing it right.
Yesterday, in honor of the late Aaliyah‘s birthday, and also probably Throwback Thursday a little bit, Beyonce put up a photo of the two of them together. And it was sweet, and everyone loved it…until they realized that the photo was a cropped, zoomed in, black and white version of a photo posted earlier in the day by Kelly Rowland, and that Beyonce had cropped Kelly out of it. GASP.
Now I hear what some of you are saying, that we should stay focused on the main thing, which is memorializing the tragic death of Aaliyah. But no, the internet rejects that, because THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT. Hasn’t everyone made that clear by now with their endless sniping? This is news, and it must be addressed. An injustice has been done, either by Kelly to Beyonce or by Beyonce to Kelly (unimaginable, I know, but it is theoretically possible), and no one better stop their speculation until we get to the bottom of it.