EggGate 2014 continues to mesmerize the nation — and, let’s face it, the universe. In case you need an eggy refresher course, I’ll remind you that last week Justin Bieber was accused of hurling eggs at his neighbor’s home and causing $20,000 in damage like a true artist. Then earlier this week police showed up and raided his mansion looking for evidence. While they didn’t find anything eggs-related, they did find drugs in plain view and arrested Bieber’s friend Lil Za, who then got arrested again inside the jail for damaging a phone. But just because the police busted Za doesn’t mean they’re done with Bieber.
According to Radar Online, Bieber’s neighbor wants the police to charge him with a felony. He’s apparently living in the United States on a work visa, which could be revoked if he’s convicted for this. And what does a visa being revoked mean? It means he could be deported back to Canada, because this could be considered a “crime of moral turpitude” according to U.S. immigration law. A source reportedly said, “His neighbor wants him not only out of the neighborhood, but also the country.” The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office will also apparently be contacting immigration officials about the situation.
So Bieber could be thrown like an egg right out of the United States. I know it might be tempting for us Americans to declare, “Good, you can have him!” and cross our fingers that he leaves, but let’s take a step back and reconsider that declaration. Do we really want to do that to Canada? Just think about all the wonderful things Canada has given us. Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, probably some other Ryans, Rob Ford drama, adorable accents, maple syrup. So they also gave us Justin Bieber. Everybody makes mistakes, and Bieber can still serenade screaming teenage girls from up there anyway, so we wouldn’t really be rid of him.
But oh my goodness just imagine if he actually did get in trouble for this. As we’ve already said this week, we’re mildly disturbed by how giddy we are at the prospect of Bieber finally getting arrested for something. What with all the bucket-peeing and graffiti-making and monkey-abandoning and Segway-riding, it’s about time he faced the consequences for his actions. And the fact that it could be for something as idiotic as egging a house at nearly 20 years of age is just the icing on the eggy cake.