Apparently Kristen Stewart just signed on to star opposite Jennifer Lawrence‘s on-again-off-again boyfriend Nicholas Hoult in a movie called Equals, and she is completely terrified about it.
Um yeah girl! I would be too if I had to smooch on the mouth with the boyfriend of the most famous twenty-something on the planet right now! And since it’s a widely known fact that any male in the proximity of Kristen spontaneously bursts into lustful flames causing him to abandon his wife and children, she has reason to be nervous. They both do.
“I can’t believe I agreed to do it. I’m terrified of it. Though it’s a movie with a really basic concept, it’s overtly ambitious.”
Yeah, and the concept is ‘act like professionals’. Which obvi K-Stew can’t do because she’s a seething mass of lady hormones, against whom no human man can stand a chance. And she even knows that! So she pleaded with the director, Drake Doremus, to cast someone else — anyone else!
“I trust Drake’s process and I know we will do something really natural and real. But I told Drake, ‘Don’t expect that I am going to be able to do this. It’s too hard.’ But he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I’ve given directors disclaimers before, but never this much.”
But Drake said nay nay NAY! He took his life and his career into his own hands, virtually guaranteeing another situation like we had in 2012. This time next year, expect to see photos of Kristen and Nicholas awkwardly embracing each other in front of the Hollywood sign. Or maybe it’ll be Mt. Rushmore next time, just to mix things up. See what you’ve done, Drake?!?
“[Jennifer Lawrence] and I worked together before and she was fantastic. It’s exciting to talk about the character with different people, but it became evident in my head that Nick and Kristen would have great chemistry.”
This is on you, Drake. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Or that Kristen didn’t, as she repeats for the thousandth time in this interview:
“It’s a love story of epic, epic, epic proportion. I’m scared.”
WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT.