If anyone hasÂ Jon Gosselin‘s number, can you do me a favor and let him know that his children are human beings and not the emotionless sociopaths that he apparently thinks he birthed? Or maybe a better way to get in touch with him is by beeper — he seems like he’d still have a beeper, right?
But however we contact him, I think it’s important that we do it soon, because he seems pretty out of touch with some fundamental things about his own flesh and blood. Most importantly, the fact that the internet is pretty prevalent at this point, and it’s super likely that at some point, one or all of them are gonna get online and see what their dad really thinks of them. Namely: that their asshole mom is molding them into budding psychopaths. He toldÂ Life & Style:
“They live in such an isolated house. When theyâre with me, I let them out into society. I donât close the gate and make them live in a compound like Kate does.Â You canât breathe the wrong way without upsetting her. The kids have to ask before they get a drink, before they get a snack, before they open the fridge, before they go to the bathroom. Itâs ridiculous.”
Okay Jon — if you were trying to describe your children as caged animals being trained to attack their captors, then congratulations! Great success! But if you were trying to talk about the fruit of your loins in a loving, fatherly, empathetic way, then you have failed. Big time. But don’t you think you can do an evenÂ better job at describing them as tiny serial killers? I bet you can!
âThey have problems adjusting with their peers. They are well-mannered, and that is great, but when we go into an environment with other children, they cling to me. Iâm trying to teach them respect and love for other people. Thatâs the big thing: humanity. They need to look inside other peoplesâ hearts. By isolating them, theyâll never learn.â
Great job buddy, you nailed it! I wishÂ myÂ parents had left fun interviews like this one all over the internet for me to find when I came of age! Such lucky Gosselins!
(Photo: Michael Buckner / Getty Images Entertainment)