If I’ve learned anything from Hollywood, it’s that celebrity moms often don’t hang out with their daughters the way my mom hangs out with me. So clearly the new photos of Miley Cyrus hanging out with her mom Tish don’t depict them buying tickets to an 11 AM movie and then going to the mall to use a coupon on shoes. On the contrary, the photos depict them hanging out at a house party in Miami last month. And there’s a very special guest joining them. That special guest’s name is “Suspicious-Looking Cigarette.” Mr. Cigarette has made appearances between the fingers of everyone from Jennifer Lawrence to Amanda Bynes.
You know what kind of cigarette I’m talking about. It’s not a regular cigarette, but it’s also not guaranteed to be a marijuana cigarette, so what are you to call it? Suspicious. Except in Miley Cyrus’ case, it’s pretty safe to say she was smoking pot. I mean, the girl lit up a joint on stage at an award show and said weed is better than coke in an interview. Nobody’s surprised.
What is slightly more surprising — although, in a world where Dina Lohan exists, not too surprising — is that her mom was right there. Tish isn’t pictured smoking in the photos, but the Daily Mail is reporting a witness’s claim that Miley was “passing it around the table,” so that’s a possibility. What’s also a possibility is that Tish is a cool mom. Oops, I just realized that air quotes don’t translate through the Internet. She’s a “cool mom.” The kind that hangs out with her daughter at a party and is like totally chill with that daughter partaking in a little alleged herbal refreshment. Or maybe this relationship is better represented by saying that Miley is totally chill with her mom seeing her partake in that refreshment.
I mean, even if I were a huge pop star famous for singing about drug use and smoking in my music videos, even then I’d probably refrain from lighting up if my mom was right there. But not Miley Cyrus. She came in like a wrecking ball with a blunt in her hand, and she didn’t try to hide it.