Emma Thompson, you glorious glimmering jewel. The Golden Globes are barely half over, and already they’re full of more mistakes, gaffes, and head-scratching moments than all of 2013′s award shows put together. But even on a night where I’ve seen Robin Wright‘s taped nip, watched Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie read off a piece of paper, and heard Jacqueline Bisset loudly proclaim ‘SHIT’ after five seconds of improperly censored silence on the seven second delay, you are still standing out LIKE A QUEEN.
In case you missed it, Emma was supposed to take the stage and read the nominations for Best Screenplay. But apparently the long march from her chair to the stage (wherever she’s seated, we assume it’s four miles from the front, as that’s really been a theme of the evening) tired her out, because by the time she got there, she had her martini in one hand and her shoes in the other. And not just any shoes — her Christian Louboutins. Apparently the atmosphere was so relaxed tonight that she decided she was at the ceremony for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler‘s civil ceremony and just kicked ‘em right off.
And you guys. Things did not end there. All I want to do is hang out with this woman, because instead of being put off by standing in front of a room full of celebrities in her bare feet, ten sheets to the wind, she was like YEAH I’M DRUNK WHAT ABOUT IT. When she realized she didn’t have the envelope listing the winner – literally the only thing she was required to bring to the stage – she regally demanded it, only to realize she didn’t have a hand to receive it, because she was in full Sorority Girl Stance. So martini sloshing in one hand, she THREW HER MULTI-THOUSAND DOLLAR SHOES OVER HER SHOULDER and took the envelope, getting down to business. Please just look at the Vine, it’s amazing.
Oh my god, Emma Thompson For President. Who is this woman and which after-party is she going to? If I throw on a flashy sequined number and run to the airport right now, I should get to LA right about the time this show is ending.