I have an exercise for you. Think back to when you were a little kid and your birthday was coming up. I have a pretty vivid memory of sitting on my living room floor playing with Barbies at age three or four and expressing concern to my mother that I wouldn’t have gummy worms at my birthday party. It was very important to me. If you’re Blue Ivy Carter, you probably sit on your living room floor made of pure gold and diamonds playing with your royal scepter and worrying that Beyonce and Jay-Z – or as I like to refer to them, God and God’s husband — won’t be able to rent out that theme park for you. Well, there was no reason for Blue Ivy to worry about that, because God and God’s husband came through this year.
For her second birthday party this past Tuesday, January 7th, the Carters rented out all of Jungle Island, a wildlife habitat and botanical garden in Miami. According to TMZ, a VIP tour ticket for just one person costs $240. In related news, everyone reading this just became extremely jealous of a two-year-old. Don’t even try to pretend. It was my dream to get an entire theme park to myself when I was a kid, mostly so I didn’t have to wait in the lines. Theme parks should really be renamed line parks. The rides, the bathrooms, the live shows, the restaurants, the balloon artists, the check-in at the hotel. If you’re a line enthusiast, it’s a dream come true.
This news comes after Beyonce already showed off Blue Ivy’s many birthday wishes from strangers. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also a rumor from Media Takeout that Jay and Bey bought Blue a $75,000 Arabian horse as a gift. That’s right, Blue Ivy might have gotten that pony you asked for every year as a kid. Of course, this rumor comes from the always reliable “insider,” so it automatically comes with an industrial size container or salt grains. But if we’re being totally honest, it wouldn’t even surprise me. It also wouldn’t surprise me if the horse turned out to be a Pegasus. What else do you ride when you’re the child of deities?